-About a Girl-

Sunday, October 31, 2004



few days ago, i went shopping, i brought rm230 with me to go change at the money changer. i expected at LEAST A$80..but guess what i got? $67!! bloody hell! the stupid exchange rate is so bloody high again..its 3.4 sumthing!! ISH! so irritated...everything here costs so much..just one mcd's burger here is about $2.50...convert it and its about 8 ringgit...8 ringgit for a burger!! gosh...i mean im not a tight wad or anything but 8 ringgit for a burger~!! and in school, i dont even buy food, one bottle of water is $2, one sandwhich is about $2.60, and it doesnt even taste good! my money is juz gona disapear like *poof* dat....aiyoyoyo. and my wonderful mother, who is always right as always, thinks i can survive on aussie $20 a week. wow mum! so generous! ugh...........

yesterday, guess where i went? the zoo! wow! so exciting! *sarcastic* okok...i might have had fun if i went with friends or sth, but i went with my mum, my brother, my sister, my 2 cousins and my aunty. ish...i didnt wana go, seriously, i would rather stay home all day but as usual, my ever understanding mother wouldnt listen.

the whole way there i was in a really lousy mood, and my mother expected me to be happy. smile she said. thats what i really hate about her..she has this way of life that you should always pretend everything is alright, that you are ever happy and undepressed even when you're not. she thinks its embarassing to cry. it was enough that i even bothered to go along with the stupid plans that SHE made for ME, but still expected me not to be pissed. and get this..being the other-worldly intelegent, responsible, perfect person she is *coughs*, she led us the wrong way and took the wrong train. we were supposed to take the one that went to circular quay, but she(or was it her sister?), without even thinking, took the one that went all the way to north sydney, which is in practically the opposite direction! gosh....and they didnt even realise it until we passed about 5stops. and she kept watching me, to make sure that i didnt make any faces or groan or anything, WHAT THE FUCK? i mean..i dont usually go slag off my mother to the rest of the world, but this is too fucking much! since when did i not have the right to feel what i feel?

ugh...it makes me sick...and she looks through my school bag...my stuff...and when i confront her about it...she starts shouting and turning it around as if im the one at fault...yes mother, you are always right, never wrong, and i am always the irresponsible one, the one who looses everything, the one who can never be trusted. gosh...she lectures me about all that, but the truth is, she looses more stuff than me...she acts like she's doing everything the right way, that she's living it right, but tell me mother, what happened to not pointing your finger at someone, because three others are pointing back at you?? you told me that yourself....you know what...at least i try my best to do things the right way...you...you will always keep finding stupid excuses to defend yourself and abuse your power over me....dont think i dont know, dont think no one can read between the lines, because i bloody well do, just that unlike you, i dont point out every single character flaw other people have. there are a million other things i could say about you, but i'll just keep it to myself.

i really hope you're reading this, even if i told you not to look at my blog, just so that maybe, maybe, it would help you realise that you're not god. screw you.

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Thursday, October 28, 2004



Heya...im in school now...hah yeah aussie school. Ok well today is my second day...yesterday was the first. yeah like duh. haha...it was gooood...much better than my first day a sedaya hehe. people here are pretty nice, MUCH better than sedaya. in general lah. haha u see im still using lah! but gosh im starting to use this twisted aussie-malaysian-american accent now...very screwed.

so yeah...the good thing is...school here is like it is in usj4....have fun..play....dun study if u dun want to....kewl eh? haha...im taking advanced math tho...ish...hmm...in computer studies now, since i dont have a proper account yet i dont have to do anything...lol! girls here are kewl...they love chuck taylors and the used...*smiles*

aihs im so fcuking hungry now..food here is so EXPENSIVE! let me lay it down...ok one chicken sandwhich here is aus$2.50..convert it and its about RM6 or RM7...how crazy is that?? and one mcd's burger is the price of a whole meal in m'sia...ish...oh well...

today im going 2 this place called parramatta after school with my cousin james the lame ass hip hopper..haha nah he's kewl but he's a fcuking hip hopper. ish. parramatta is like...er...shopping town or sth...so you all know why im going there la :P i wana get summore chuck taylors but once again, they're so expensive! one pair of normal black ones ar aussie 70 or m'sian 170 around dat...so i duno la. i need summore clothes.

oh my god did i tell u about my uniform? its so cute! its a short scottish-checked skirt (really short) and a yellow polo shirt...what a break from the sedaya colours! no offense =)

aihs i duno what else 2 say...hm...my com teacher looks like the mayor from 'the simpsons'...haha...ok well im gona go now...tata. =)

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Monday, October 25, 2004



Hello everyone, im fucking pissed right now, if ur reading this... FUCK YOU YEAP JER SHEU. Thank you so bloody much for going around telling people stuff about me, you know what? i've heard so much about you, but did i ever held anything against you in your presence?? right.

What more, its not like i didnt intend to pay you back. Did u remind me about it? you didnt. Did you ever bother to contact me about it? no, you didnt. If your common sense is realy so bloody fucked as i suspected, cant you see that i am so bloody busy right now?? what did you think..that i would go out of my way, fly all the way back there juz 2 pay u back ur stupid 80 bux?? yeah, go figure. You know what...i dont usualy waste my time n energy slagging other people off, but u've really done it.

Thanks alot. I guess this teaches me never too expect a little genuine niceness from you again.

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Sunday, October 24, 2004



Hey ppl!! im in aussie land..! haha....wanted 2 blog first thing i came ere but i've been busy. my stupid cousin james is beat boxing right now, so irritating.

hmm...so...the flight here was baaaad. Like i sed, i took austrian airways. i got on the plane and *boom* all these european ppl...my seat was 40c and i was so scared dat i would be sitting nex to sum fat old man or sth. so i made my way 2 d seat and *angels singing* there were these 2 goooorgeous swedish guys! aaah! one had blond hair, kinda long and he tied it up, the one sitting next to me. hehe...before the flight, i bought all this chocolate for sum reason...i bought sum swedish ones full of liquor and i was pretty tipsy on d plane lol.

d seats were so uncomfortable, the seats were TINY and u needed to be at least a hundred kg to be able to push it back. the whole way there i was laughing coz these people were all talking in german and swedish and the only thing i could understand from the 2 guys next to me was 'fucked up fucked up' =PPP one of d guys name is patrick, he told me dat he n his friend were in aus for the first time and they came to just see the whole place and they're gona get jobs dere..how kewl....ish.

other than dat d weekend's been pretty boring, stayed in my grandparents place near the sea (not beach). they live in this place called orient point, full of old retired people who go fishing all day. how fun huh. my best friend was my laptop...aihs.

gtg sleep now..kinda late ere...gnite!


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Tuesday, October 19, 2004

tainted bliss

ok, i can do this. im packing now, but the problem is my fcuking suitcase is too full. ugh. I love feeling like this. the feeling you get when ur packing up your stuff to hop on a plane and fly off somewhere...its practically bliss. But this time, its kinda saddening, this bliss is unwhole, its tainted.

I havent gotten back my stuff..my shoes from joshua, angela's ashes from sarah, and the god of small things from bazli. ugh. i just got back from coffee bean with amelia, the guy working behind the counter...oh god..those eyes...lovely..beautiful...black...mysterious....mesmerizing....i dont know what else to say. i kept looking at him, once he caught me and he smiled this really lovely smile...hehe. *malu*

there are soooo many books i still wana read but havent, supposed to get all the reading done before leaving:-
  • Le divorce
  • The pianist-Wyadyslaw Szpilmant
  • No logo-Naomi Klein
  • Summer boys-hailey abbott
  • The a-list
  • Gossip girl series-Cecile Von Zigesar or sth like that
  • Bitch-elizabeth wurtzel
  • More,now,again-elizabeth wurtzel (cant get enuff of her writing)
  • Girl, interrupted-susanna kaysen
  • The virgin suicides-jeffrey eugenides
  • The Sound and the Fury : 40 years of Classic Rock Journalism: A Rock's Backpages Reader-barney hoskyns

herm..i'll be around during christmas i think...*hint hint*. lol! oh well better get back to all this crap i have to do...i was gona say sth but i forgot what. screw my memory. heh. goodbye.


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My Happy Ending

One day, one day far far away when we are all big and grown up and not young and hopeless anymore, we will meet again.

It will be on a bright, sunny morning with lots and lots of people around, just like the first day we first met. You will come up to me, shake my hand and tell me your name for no particular reason at all. You will not know who I am at first because we will have changed so much, grown up so much, be so much different from what we are now. I will not recognize you either but feel as if i've known you forever. Then, i will greet you back and tell you my name.

We will look at each other, in quaint recognition, because we will have the same feeling of knowing each other. It will hit you first.

I was the girl who you said fascinated you, whether you meant it or not, because she knew so much about music and listened to led zeppelin. You will smile at me and then I will remember your smile. You were the boy with the funny name and the pretty eyes I liked for a while when i was 15, I will remember your eyes, your big, sparkling, child-like eyes and your beautiful smile.

We'll be so struck by memory and forgotten desires that we won't know what to do at first. Then, you will reach for my hand and lace your fingers with mine. You will hold me close, you will breathe words into my ear and it will be the saddest, most bittersweet thing i have ever heard; i will remember those words forever. You will remember me and I will remember you. The sky will turn to grey, and one by one, raindrops will fall, but these will be happy raindrops.

We will get wet but we won't care. I will feel so safe and so happy in your arms, i will feel like i am home and nothing else will matter anymore. Then, with your fingers, you will lift my face up and look into my eyes and tell me things without saying a word. All these years, where have you been? Everything's gona be okay now. I will be trembling, not knowing if it is the rain or your presence. I will start to say something and you will put your finger to my lip because you already know. You already know. You will come closer and closer until your lips touch mine. It will be the sweetest kiss I ever had, the one I've been searching for all my life.

I will start to cry because I will have missed you so much, neede you so much and not know that, and here you are, I will have finally found you, and then we will be young and hopeless once again. I will be fifteen again. I will once again be the girl who likes led zeppelin, and you will once again be the boy with the funny name and the pretty eyes. This time, i will have you and you will have me forever and ever. As hard it is for the deepest dreams to come true, this time it will, and everything will be alright.

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Monday, October 18, 2004

the obsession

i played foosball with penny today at 15, gosh i suck...will get better! =D

i have this stupid rash on my back, its so itchy and its not going away. i went to some clinic in usj3 or 4 (i dont know), and as i was waiting, i read this sort of blog-zine thing i bought from wondermilk @ one U for 5 bucks. its a collection of blog excerpts, i bought it to read on the plane to sydney but i just couldnt resist. This issue was called the obsessions issue, and there was this particular entry by someone by the name of pacifique, entitled 'last ode to star'. It hit me in an ironic way, because i could relate to it. It was pacifique's letting go of an obsession, with a guy apparently. What particularly got me is how she did it. basically the dominance in their relationship shifted from him to her, and she finally realised what a pathetic guy he was. she burned her journals of him and let her obsession go as well.

It made me wonder, is this the amount of emotional damage needed to happen for me to forget you? no, its not, says the small, guillible, naive part of me. For once, i want to listen to my heart and not my head. For once, i want it to be ok to love you and the whole world knowing, and it is ok. For once, i want to believe that everything will turn out the way i want it to be, and we will live happily ever after, just like snow white and her prince, cinderella and her prince, sleeping beauty and her prince. Yes, my life will go as planned and end up like a fairytale. For once i will be happy because you will be mine.



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this sucks. im leaving late tomorrow night/early wednesday morning. i have to see you again. I HAVE TO. im gona miss ur eyes, your smile. im gona miss what you say. im gona miss ur 3 am phone calls. im gona miss acting annoyed, but really waiting for you to call. i still remember everything u said, you know? maybe it doesnt matter now. maybe i should just tell you. maybe i should have done something about it earlier, cos this hasnt ended and i cant just leave it hanging, not when u've got me so bad. i'm gona miss borrowing your stuff and you borrowing mine. im gona miss talking to you about nothing at all and looking at your gorgeous eyes. its not right i know. i hope u'll still think of me, keep a place in ur heart for me when im gone. i might not think of u as much when im not around, but i hope u'll still remember me. you'll still mean something to me and i will never ever forget the way you make me feel. i will remember you.

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pix!!

hey ppl, here are the pix from saturday night's party...thank god my mum wasnt home =PPPP herm ok here's wat happened last night, and yes i can still remember thanks very much!

ok so well people started comming at about 7, i was so fcuking freaked that no one would show up, dat would be so embarassing! anieways about 20 came, not dat much but hey it was a last minute thing so yeah. 7 something...jersheu took my mums car out 2 buy pizza, i was so fcuking scared he would trash it! we used up all his money, nyehehehe. erm...and then...aiyok i forgot what happened la...oh yeah ppl were all so bored, so we decided to start drinking, me, amelia, penny, chee seng and his friend kee heng or sth went to carrefour to get liquor...we got johnny walker's black label and brought it back. we decided to play stupid drinking games...i was d first 2 get high! lol....my alcahol tolerance level is seriously fucked...my face was redder than blood..but i was still thinking straight the whole time so yeah it was alright, i could still walk in (almost) straight lines and stuff =)

eeek, i feel so stupid, i kept calling up bazli asking him to come, for some stupid reason i really wanted him there...i even payed for his taxi n stuff. apparently he was sick, i kinda feel bad for making him come like that. more later.

everyone was so wasted...penny and rachel stayed over. i slept at 2 and woke up a 3.30am with this MASSIVE hangover...its weird cos i dun usualy get them but wut the heck...my brain was screaming for alkaselzter but i couldnt find sum so it hurt like shit.

the best thing about it was this autograph book amelia made...everyone signed a page, all sorts of stupid stuff in there cos we were all so wasted lol. chee seng's friend ah hing or wateva even left his number in there asking me 2 call from aus...stupid! haha...elaine n penny think he's cute...aiyoyo...he cant speak a word of english! ish.

oh shit i just remembered..there was cake but we didnt eat it...shit..oh well..

thanks everyone for coming! i'll be back in december...one more round yeah! this time with some jds and mr woodson...hehe. nitez.

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mel and cheryl Posted by Hello

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me on the left, penny on the right. nuff said ;ppppp Posted by Hello

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Melody =) Posted by Hello

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all of us, wasted and happy on my front garden. note the fact that no one is standing straight. Posted by Hello

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left to right: ah heng (total stranger), very happy cheryl, amelia, red chee seng, redder me, and a spaced out bazli. =) Posted by Hello

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dwaynie as red as his shirt! he had alot of johnny walkers and i mean ALOT nyahaha Posted by Hello

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the colour difference between a drunk chick and a sober one...=PPPP Posted by Hello

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amelia, chee seng the 'china-beng' and me ;p Posted by Hello

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Sunday, October 17, 2004



oh and for pictures of THAT kiss and other stuff...watch this space soon! =P

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party~!

helo, we just had our party, i got totaly drunk, how nice huh? =) yeah i know its almost 4 am now, i fell asleep at 2 leaving penny and rachel to go find their own bunks..i feel so bad. i woke up at 3.30 with this MAJOR headache, my brain was screaming for ALKASELTZER..where is that stuff when u need it?? oh well i had fun so it was good =) thanks to everyone who came, thanks for the lovely autograph thingie, im sori if i cant remember half the people who showed up cos like i sed im hungover and spent, i think i sed some stupid stuff?? hehe...ugh god every single fucking drink in my house is now tainted with liquor...there is this glass of coke rite next to my com and i was thirsty so i took a huge gulp...guess what...its half black label...ish...i need a remedy...help?

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Friday, October 15, 2004



I LOVE MY FRIENDS!!

hahahahaa...u guys are so fucking stupid, i love you!!

ATTENTION EVERYONE, MY SURPRISE PARTY IS TOMORROW (Saturday,16TH) NIGHT. DONT TELL ME WHERE IT IS, PLEASE AT LEAST LEAVE THAT AS A SURPRISE, CONTACT MY DARLING FRIEND AMELIA FOR DETAILS, HER BLOG ADDRESS IS ON THE RIGHT, ASK ME FOR HER CONTACT IF U DONT HAVE IT, YOU CAN CONTACT VAL AS WELL, I DONT CARE WHO YOU ARE, JUST COME! AND BRING PRESENTS! THANK YOU!

AND ONCE AGAIN, I LOVE U PEOPLE!!!!

MUAHKZ =D

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pffft. im in skool now, its so effing boring. everyone's just sitting around the comlab doing crap, im sitting here listening to red104.9 and reading KLUE about damn dirty apes..did u noe ian went to john's mistress?? haha...not dat i really care but thats how bored i am. and i dislike john's mistress...more than dda anyway. not that i give a fcuk about local music except probably oag...yes i still think radhi is comel =P my mum , brother and sister (the whole terror squad lah) are leaving tonite..peace at last! im leaving wednesday...so fast =( i stil have to see: amelia, rachel (seeing her tml), jun u owe me lunch, penny, daryl and the other guys. oh well, screw it if i dun see them. SO BORED SO BORED SO BORED

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Thursday, October 14, 2004

dodgeball~!

i just watched dodgeball in pyramid (AGAIN!) for the 3rd time, man im getting sick of it. this time, i went with sandra and we were laughing like hell at the bit when white and his team come out with that stupid snake dance..hahahaha! the latte @ 8 crew was setting up the stuff, shit i wanted 2 stay and watch! but it was only seven something, didnt wana sit around and wait for midnite. oo oo i found these really chun bob marley badges, i bought 2 hehe! looks like i HAVE to go to school tomorrow, malam perpisahan is sunday and gota plan it and stuff. =/

aihs yesterday i went to the aussie hicom for my visa thingie, gosh the woman there was such a fcuking bitch! she's the unfrendliest, dumbest person i've ever met, i wonder what she's doing at a place like the hicom. probably fcuked the boss for free or sth. ugh. anyway, now i mite just go renew my aus passport instead of getting a whats-that-called visa. yeah i know you didnt ask :P

have u heard that christina song car wash? haha yeah i know the intelligence factor is just about zero, but the song rox! so dance-y...hehehe. and how far is heaven by the lost lonely boys is so good...screw u akmal they are not lost! =P my belly ring is acting up, its all red and itchy now but i stil love it =) good nite!


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Tuesday, October 12, 2004



well well, my flight's been rescheduled...AGAIN! its so frustrating, ugh. you see, in the beginning it was scheduled for the 15th of october. But then i told my mum it was too early cos i have a ton of things to do so fine, she changed it to the 30th of october. And then, it got switched to the 25th because of the seats. After that, it was 29th, i have no idea why, then back to the 25th again. Then on monday, *BoMb* my mum told me im leaving on the 18th cos my dad has to go 2 china on the 20th. like what?? yeah. Then today, my mum told me its on the 20th cos my aussie passport or something would not be ready by the 18th. so yeah. oh and...my dad might not be going to china after all. expect more date switches =)

Today was so crap, my mum woke me up at 8 to go to the immigration to go do my m'sian passport, i was so fcuking blur cos i slept at 4 last nite!! I had to have my photo taken for the passport, i looked so stupid with my panda eyes and fake smile. aihz. After doing everything, we went down the escelator and i saw, of all people, the invigilator from my pmr!! haha...he recognised me so i said hi. oh oh...here's the good part...i saw this car with a 'MARA College' sticker thingie on it, and the guy inside looked like...Rummel! i thought, oh my fcuking god what if its him? i wanted to swerve the steering wheel so that it would hit (or kill, if i was lucky) him. But i was sitting at the back so too bad. =(

When i came home, i slept til about 4 sth Penny called and the dumbest thing happened. She asked me "when's ur surprise party ar??" hahahhaha..!! lmao...so it IS a party huh. i have such wonderfully secretive friends, dont u think? they sure do know how to throw surprise farewell parties! =ppppp Rachel called in the middle, thank god for the call waiting option thingie. i think im going to see her this saturday...yay! shit i stil have to buy so much stuff. i think i'll get sum And1 crap for my cousin james, datz gona make him happy. He's...ya know...gangsta...haha =) as for myself, i think a few more tops and maybe one more pair of pants and a belt is all. hehe. the problem is im broke now!! still have about twenty sth left la, but wats that gona do?? oh well i guess i'll just go wit my dad to 1U on sunday and blow his cash *smiles*

I just installed sims on my laptop, i have the DoTz family, the Gorgeous Family, and the MacHo family..haha!! the macho family has a guy, Macho Man, and a girl...ManLy Bitch. =PPPPPPPPP the gorgeous family has 2 guys, Mike and Name, but they're in love with each other. eeeeeew =D the DoTz family initially had me, val and amelia, but i accidently left the game on while i was eating, so apparently amelia was cooking and she caught fire. and died. so sad...sorry! hehe..

Just now, i went to that nasi kandar place in taipan with my parents, i ordered roti tissue and they gave me this SUPER DUPER TALL one...it was at least a meter high! no kidding! everyone was staring...i was like wtf?? how am i supposed 2 eat all that?? oh well i ended eating all of it anyway...with the help of my parents la =P i wish i'd taken a pic of it =P Akil msged me earlier to make me feel bad about not going today, then he said 'ur so sweet sometimes, too bad you have a spoilt side." thanks for the constructive criticism. just when my mum was saying sth about me being a dissapointment. i am not!! hell, she wants me to be like a miniature version of her, all prim and proper and boring...no thanks man. i have this plan, when she leaves australia in november, just as she's leaving from the airport, im gona show her my belly ring! =p she'll be too far away to do anything...that would be so hilarious! hahaha...im so evil lah. aiyo.

I was thinking, i should write a book about my life. hey dont laugh! im serious...even aaron c said that. i mean...sooooo much stuff happens and tho it may not be the most active one, mine is definitely interesting. i mean, how many people can say..."i was born 3 weeks overdue in australia to a malaysian-born chinese dad and a korean mum, then i had my first stamp in my passport when i was 3 months old, and i've used up about 3 passports to my 15th birhtday." hehe...see? dun mean to brag but let me be a show off for a little bit. if elizabeth wurtzel could sell a book about her depressed life, i could definite sell a book about mine. look out for my book in mph and kinokuniya soon yeah. in the bestseller's section, that is. =P

ok well i gota wake up early again tml to pick up my m'sian passport, then to the aussie hi com for my aussie passport business. yeah...it sucks to be a citizen of multiple countries. ish. But after that, im off to ampang for a hair cut! yay! hmm...i wonder if i should cut my fringe again. guess i'll decide when i get there...good nite~!




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Monday, October 11, 2004

My heart, to the people i love

You guys, im leaving in seven days. I might not get to see you soon enough but i'll try my best. If i don't get to see all of you before i leave, i just want u to know how much i treasure you, no matter how deep or how vague your friendship. Its been wonderful.

And to you guys who've helped me out when i thought it was the end of the world, when i was depressed, im forever in debt to you and i thank you so much. Im so sorry if i've ever been rude to you, its not because i wanted to hurt you, i've never wanted to hurt anyone. You guys have been there for me through thick and thin, im so damn grateful to have friends who stick by me when things get tough.

I know that, on monday, when im on the plane flying south, im gona be crying my eyes out. Thats how much im gona miss you. You're gona be on my mind forever, and i hope i hold a place in your heart as well. And i pray that, when im not here, i hope you'll still remember and be thinking of me. I know i'll be thinking of you. I'm gona miss all of you so much.

I'll never, ever forget you.

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today sucked. everything about it. gosh, this morning, while i was still sleeping, my mum came in and told me im leaving on the 18th. HOW FUCKING CONVENIENT FOR YOU, MOTHER. She can't just do that! i have so many things to do! so many people i miss that i want to see one last time! ONE FUCKING WEEK IS NOT ENOUGH! I went back to sleep, hoping it was a nightmare. I woke up at 11 realising it wasnt. But i figured i could find a way to switch back the dates.

Anyway, then at 1 sumthing, me and val and aaron went to sushi king in pyramid cos it was val's birthday. what a way to celebrate huh. We saw dodgeball (again) but its a good flick so yeah. Aaron left after the movie, so me and val then went to look for my black pants. This was when the shit started. I went to every single bloody shop, looking for an ordinary black cargo pants, but the god of pants or whatever must have been in an evil mood today cos NOTHING FITTED. everything was either just nice for my waist but too small for my butt, or just nice for my butt but too big for my waste. i hate my butt. i HATE IT. And THEN, my mum calls and asks me, "Why didnt you call me??" I was like, wtf? cos SHE said SHE would call. stupid woman. And then val's mum comes on the phone and starts yelling at me, at ME, when i was already so pissed. god. They sed they were coming at 7 so then i went to body glove and got a pair of jeans instead of black pants.

In the car, i just felt so broken. Vitamin C's graduation was playing in my head, and at the part 'as our lives change, come whatever, we will still be friends forever', i started crying. That was when i realised how much i love you guys. My friends, the people who have been so sweet to me, you guys who shared the good times and were there for me during the bad, i just realised how much i love and miss you guys. Its not fair, i dont understand why she has to do this to me. One week is definitely not enough to see everyone im gona miss, and its definitely not enough to get everything together. She doesnt realise what a big thing this is, how much i love my friends and how much i wanted to get done during my last two weeks here. now, i've only got 6 more days to see EVERYONE and that is not enough.

Posted by Closet Groupie :: 7:56 PM :: 0 Comments:

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Oh my god, haha...here's something i found while googling info on how 2 take care of my navel ring:

The first 4-5 days your navel will look fine, then you will start to get a very small amount of redness where the ring pierces the body. Next you will start to get crusting around the ring. This is just dead white blood cells from the healing process. The piercing will discharge small amounts of milky fluid. This is not a sign of infection, it’s just the result of your body trying o heal a wound with a foreign object in it. If the discharge becomes thick and yellow, or you develop any pain or excessive redness, this is a sign of possible infection. See your piercer or doctor right away.

I swear, its like they purposely described it like that to scare people..i know if i read that article earlier, i would have thought twice! not that it would stop me from doing it, i just would have thought twice hehe.

i was so pissed at a certain someone earlier, my heart was gona disintegrate and jump out of my body part by part quite soon if i didnt do sth about it. Chatting with nick now, he's got a cold! i know you miss me...=p Z called me up today, how cute! but he couldnt hear me cos of the noise so that was crap la. MUST reload my phone soon hehe.

I feel so free after the pmr, its like i'm the 'me' i was a year ago once again, a bit older and wiser now i admit, but im back to doing things for the sake of it and going where the danger is which...isnt necessarily such a bad thing. =p

anyway, im so freakin tired now people so goodnite!

-KiMiZzDoTz-

Posted by Closet Groupie :: 3:01 AM :: 0 Comments:

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liberation!!

hey! omg! the last few days have been crazy!

im so HAPPY because:-



  • its all over =>
  • I am finally ME again
  • belly ring!
  • i saw a really funny flick on friday
  • i went up to genting =D
  • i met vick, nikki and rina omar!
  • i took a pic wit rina omar!
  • i got to know a cute guy yesterday named 'Z' ;p
  • Z called today :D
  • belly ring!
  • i bought 2 really cute tops
  • i bought shoelaces (again)....because of Z! =pppppp
  • my mum is leaving!! *TRUE freedom*
  • I'M leaving!
  • i can go out any time i want now =)
  • I saw malaysian idol live in genting!
  • belly ring~!
  • my friends are up to something....
  • im getting a haircut, soon =p
  • im bringin this baby of a laptop with me to australia =p
  • PARTIES!
  • and...it's only just begun =D

Posted by Closet Groupie :: 2:21 AM :: 0 Comments:

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Monday, October 04, 2004



its finally here.

pmr.

PMR.

P
M
R

P-m-R.

Haha yeah....ugh bm sucked big time today. all through out both paper 1 and 2 i felt like shooting myself. last night aaron called me and gave me all these tips, questions that would come out n stuff. i didnt take it seriously, i mean come on how the hell would anyone know right? well guess what. he was 95% correct. for paper 2, almost everything was right on the spot. even those that i thought couldnt POSSIBLY come out. *I WANT TO SHOOT MYSELF!* gosh..if onli i studied that, i would have been SO MUCH more prepared.

oh well, tomorrow is english and that doesnt really matter. pray for me people, PRAY.

-Kim-

Posted by Closet Groupie :: 6:38 PM :: 0 Comments:

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Saturday, October 02, 2004



i hate this. ugh.
i hate the way you keep toying with my emotions, the way you keep confusing me and the way you rule my life. the big question here is, WHY? why do you have to treat me so sweet, make me think there's a possibility of something happening, and just when i start to warm up to you, you just stop. you dont call, dont message, dont acknowledge the fcuking fact that i care for you so much, and just when i think that, yeah, maybe you've finally decided to let it go and now i can go back to my life, you start all over again. and now you act like nothing happened and you didnt try to make me love you. you piss me off, you just HAD to make me fall in love with you then you pretend like you didnt do anything. what did i ever do to you?? i mean yeah, i screwed up, i messed u up a little but thats nothing compared to what you're doing to me.
I guess you're changing, you've changed, you're so different from when i first met you, do you know that? i hate that. i want you the way you were before, i hate the fact that, because im leaving, there's no chance of any amorous bliss whatesoever between us. but then again, you ARE part of the reason im going away, because i love you too much and thats not a good thing. i know that, when you're not there all the time, when i don't have to see your oh-so-annoyingly-beautiful face anymore, i just might forget about you, i just might. You told me yourself that you loved me and i fucking hell believed that, but shit, cant you see that im dying here, right now because of you? cant you just do something, anything to make me believe that maybe somewhere deep down, there is still the slightest hint of that old you left for me?
i try my best to be nice to you. i really do. i do so by trying to think up all the good things about you, but the minute i do, all the bad stuff comes out as well. and because of that, you annoy me all over again and fuck its just killing me. i hate you.
i wish we could just go back, back back back in time when i was just the girl who liked led zeppelin and you were just the boy with the cute smile and the funny name.
i HATE you.

Posted by Closet Groupie :: 1:09 PM :: 0 Comments:

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Friday, October 01, 2004

a world forgetting, a world forgot..

hey! just saw malaysian idol, man vick is getting worse and worse and so is dina. VOTE FOR JAC!! =D i got my first sms from uk today, lol...or was it yesterday? i cant remember.

school was really fun today, they gave us this briefing for pmr, i cant believe its finaly here...its gona be over in a week! wee hee! belly ring here i come...=D herm, the week after pmr there's gona be malam perpisahan for the form 5s, but the whole school is invited. i got the *ahem* much-coveted job of doing all the planning and stuff along with akil and joshua, HOW FUN(sarcastic tone)! and why? all because of wat happened with laila. i've learned 2 things, one: never slap laila hassan, and two: if u do, she'll scare you into planning her prom night. argh...but i guess its gona keep me busy so what the hell.

oh yes, get this, i'm throwing a post-pmr party!! it'll most likely be on the saturday after the last day of pmr (9th of october), will let u know the details soon...keep ur schedules open for that day yeah! dont mean to brag but...we all know parties at my place rock ;p

gnitez ppl =>

Posted by Closet Groupie :: 11:37 PM :: 0 Comments:

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