-About a Girl-

Friday, April 29, 2005

*Ahem* I have an ex in Kota Kemuning now?

On msn. Alice=My mother, Reviver of the Skaaaaa=Me.

Alice says:
dont u comunicate with Lionel (an ex) anymore?

Reviver of the Skaaaaa says:
y?
(huh?)

Alice says:
and do u hve an ex who moved to Kota Kemuning?
(I'm like, wtf? I do?)

Reviver of the Skaaaaa says:
kota kemuning??

Alice says:
how many exs do u have?
(At this point, I really wanted to tell her to mind her own business and not be so nosy. I'm really not a disrespectful person or anything, especially towards parents, but please lah, what kind of mum asks you these kind of questions, on msn nonetheless??)

Reviver of the Skaaaaa says:
who is that??

Alice says:
i will find out for you

Reviver of the Skaaaaa says:
how did u meet him?

Alice says:
my daughter has a very high profile love life
(uuuuuuuuhhhh....)

Alice says:
i heard frm someone

Reviver of the Skaaaaa says:
er ok.


You know your family life isn't very normal when your mum who's thousands of miles away comes up to you on msn messenger, nudges you, and tells you that your supposed ex-boyfriend has moved to Kota Kemuning. And no, I do not recall having an ex boyfriend who moved to Kota Kemuning.

Geez, how bloody annoying is that, your mother knowing how to use msn and shit. Asking you about your ex boyfriends summore. Last year, she even found my blog (through the IE address bar) and was secretly reading it, which was the reason why I changed blog addresses several times. She complains about me being sneaky and not trustable bla bla bla, well, look who's talking. This is one of the many reasons why I moved away...she just won't leave me alone. Better stop ranting before I launch another whole mum-attack again. Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to be a drama queen here and I love my mum, I really do, but best in small doses.

I'm pretty sure most of you don't have mums like this....count your lucky stars. Oh shit...I just had a thought: Maybe she's found Project Petaling Street and tracked me from there. yay.

Posted by Closet Groupie :: 10:49 PM :: 0 Comments:

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Wednesday, April 27, 2005



Hello hello - you play me like a harp
round and round we go,
yay this is so fun
twist shout shake rattle
WHat you do to me BABY

Yay, look who's back.

Watch out, dear readers, one more round of love-sick bloggings for months on end.

Sometimes I think there IS a god, and he does things like THIS to deliberately punish me. No, I didn't mean that.

Leave me be and let me listen to my SKAAAAA

Yes, from now on I'll be blogging like a total psycho

What you do to me BABY

Posted by Closet Groupie :: 9:16 PM :: 1 Comments:

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*ahem* ATTENTION EVERYONE, ME, AMIE, TABITHA, TYREE AND JANELLE HAVE STARTED A SKA BAND, ITS CALLED 'A LOAD OF BULLSHIT', AND OUR FIRST SONG WILL BE 'DO YOU HAVE A SKA BAND?? WELL YOUR SKA BAND SUCKS!" READ WWW.CLOSETGROUPIE.BLOGSPOT.COM FOR UPDATES.

yes, we will get very far. With a name and songs like that, I'm sure we will.

Posted by Closet Groupie :: 8:39 PM :: 0 Comments:

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Tuesday, April 26, 2005

rndoamisthniaag=random shit again.

  • writing random shit in point form is fun. you can just say whatever that pops into ur head without staying on one topic; highly suitable for a scatterbrain like me.
  • I'm starting to like *some* aussie bands, ie Cat Empire and Ben Folds. Cat Empire are sooooooooooooooooo cool.
  • School starts tomorrow. shit.
  • A blind man came to the restaraunt today, with a guide dog and all. For some unknown reason, I gave him a menu. I think I had my brain on autopilot. *kicks self*
  • I really hate this guy at work. more on that later.
  • I wana move to canberra. It's so much better than Penrith because 1. its prettier and older, 2.People there are classier than people here, 3. I feel really at home there 4. I was born there
  • Rove Live KICKS ASS
  • Did you know that Rove's real name is John? I can't remember who told me, I think it was Je Fei, but apparently this new zealand dude named john campbell asked Rove why he didn't use his real name, to which Rove replied:"Who the HELL would wana watch a show called John Live??" rotflmao!
  • Everyone should listen to cat empire and ben folds and the scissor sisters and the yeah yeah yeahs and the red hot chilli peppers.
  • It's midnight, school starts tomorrow, and what am I doing? I'm dying my hair. PURPLE. and I didn't read the instructions in the box, so god help me.
  • For people who know malay: Did you realise that the word "niaga" spelt backwards, is "again"? Bet you didn't eh. Well now you do.
    Good night ladies and gents and LISTEN TO CAT EMPIRE ALREADY.

Posted by Closet Groupie :: 11:48 PM :: 3 Comments:

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Monday, April 25, 2005

Rnodam Siht, Random Shit

  • Kyan from Queer Eye is so hot. How can he be gay?? I bet he's just pretending to be gay to fight off the ladies.
  • I'm racist against my own race. I don't like alot of Chinese/Korean/Japanese people in Aus, especially those 15-25. They dress like ah bengs and ah liens and have these ATROCIOUS hairstyles. Plus, alot of them only stick to each other and refuse to mix with other races.
  • My stomache hurts. again. story of my life.
  • I'm in a bad mood.
  • My back hurts too. I fear my body might just disintegrate into pieces one day.
  • Scissor Sisters and Red Hot Chilli Peppers are THE SHIT. I repeat, THE SHIT.
  • I have a sudden urge to move to England and become a pom. Because English people drink tea and listen to good music. Yes, I'll fit in perfectly.
  • I'm going on a guy sabbatical. They honestly piss me off, the way alot of them act like they know everything and have to prove themselves all the time.
  • I haven't cam-whored in nearly a month. Thats a record, people. What have I been doing? God knows.
  • There is this woman who's a regular customer at work, everytime she sees me, she gives me a big fat hug and goes, "hello sweetie! how are you doing? How was your week?" etc etc like she's my closest aunt or something. And then, when she leaves, she gives me another big fat hug and a rather large tip. I honestly don't mind, but I just don't understand how people can get so enthusiastic about meeting a waitress.
  • Phil smoked all my weed. ARGH. Just joking, Kim doesn't smoke weed, nor does any drug of any kind, drink alcahol or smoke cigarettes. Of course not. =D
  • Guys, here's some advice: Girls don't like hearing about how wonderful other girls are, just the way guys don't enjoy hearing about other guys too.
  • I can drive on real roads in less than 2 months. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
  • All this while, I thought school started tomorrow. I even packed my bag for tuesday. Yes, for all my witty, cleverly written ramblings, I am still this blur.
  • I think we should have a bloggers' gathering for underaged people *in july, heh*, since the past ones have all been in clubs/pubs/bars. What do you think?

Posted by Closet Groupie :: 11:44 PM :: 4 Comments:

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Sunday, April 24, 2005

Just a thought.

I hate the way my feelings go to the extreme. I am always super happy, super sad, super angry, super frustrated, super in love, or just blank, and nothing else in between.

I was telling someone this, and he told me, "Maybe when you're older, you'll learn to control the way you feel." Control my feelings? What's that? The possibility of being able to control something as extreme and untamed as my emotions seem foreign to me. Then I realised, hmm, people really either control their emotions, or let their emotions control them. Lets say, a man loses his wife. He wants to cry, let his anger take hold, but he stops himself. Thats the first kind. Now lets say there's a girl, she's walking through a crowded street and she's frustrated and lost, and just breaks down and cries right there and then, regardless of the throngs of people around; thats the second kind.

I guess I'm the latter, I don't think before I act; I do alot of stupid things on impulse and based solely on the way I feel, never allowing sensibility to govern my actions. Only later, when its too late, do I regret. Maybe it's got something to do with being a leftie...? Just a thought. I really wonder what effects that part of a person...brain functions? age? life experiences? emotional IQ?

Which are you?

Posted by Closet Groupie :: 11:10 AM :: 5 Comments:

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Saturday, April 23, 2005

Rock the Vote!

Ooo Aaah, Kim has decided to include polls in her blog. =P









Should I change skins?
Yep. This one sucks.
Nah.




Free polls from Pollhost.com



What a lame question, hah, but I'm seriously contemplating changing skins but can't make up my mind. oh well. VOTE!

Posted by Closet Groupie :: 12:42 PM :: 0 Comments:

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Friday, April 22, 2005

Blogging from the comfort of my own laptop.

HEEEEEEEEEELO!

Aaaaah. This feels good. I'm back from my 5 day long trip to Canberra, and I'm just elated to be using my laptop again.

What a geek.

So yeah. People wouldn't normally say this, but...Canberra was a blast! I got their solely via public transport *pats self on back*, I left on Sunday and just got back today. I would love to bore you with a super long coverage of what I did, but that would only deter you. Ah well I'll go ahead anyway. =)

If you'v been to Canberra, you would know that its pretty dead compared to other capitals around the world. I stayed a few days in my uncle's place, a few with Matt and family. My time with the Argys (Matt's family) was super fun...check this out (from Rovelive.com):


What The...?
Mathew Argy and Family, Canberra, ACT, were staying at a resort in Malaysia, and found this item at the buffet breakfast table.
Good for the munchies…because you’ve already got something to eat.

http://www.rovelive.com/whatthe/current/


That's right peeps, something Matt sent in to Rove Live (Coolest live show ever) came up on the "What The..!" segment! You see, they came to M'sia last December and stayed at the Sunway Lagoon Resort. We were having breakfast buffet there, and Wheat bix (a breakfast cereal-ish thing but in blocks) was served, but instead, the sign said WEED BIX ;p Here's the interesting bit..we've been watching Rove religously for weeks to see if this would come up, and ironically, it comes on the show the day I was visiting them, and...WE WEREN'T WATCHING. cos of me. ugh. Now THAT'S regret, people.

I also learned to play Risk, went paddle boating and go karting for the first times ever...go karting is a BLAST, although I must have crashed a gazillion times and caused alot of frustration to the dude who had to keep coming over and pulling my kart out. Now my body is aching like hell from the steering but..but...I wana do it again!

And yesterday, I watched Matt's band Eldest Son practice...they are, without a doubt, the best high school band I've ever heard. period. No joke...They even won battle of the bands last year with an extended version of Blur's Song 2. They even write their own songs that aren't half bad at all. And their guitarist (also a Matt) is such a good pianist! He reminds me of a more rock version of that blonde russian dude on American Idol.

I also bought, and was bought, a whole bag full of stuff, cos things there seem to be cheaper...:
  • The shortest skirt I've ever worn in my life from Valley Girl (courtesy of my very fashion conscious canberra aunt)
  • 3 tops, 1 from Buss, 1 from Myer (so cool, must post a pic one day), and 1 black one from..er....Supre. *eek* its for work ok! I swear never to enter a Supre again! =x
  • Incubus's S.C.I.E.N.C.E for $15 (from Sanity, which was having a clearance sale)
  • A kurt cobain dvd for $ 7 (also from Sanity)
  • Alot of books, mostly Mitch Albom. I've finished 'The 5 People You Meet In Heaven' and although interesting, its not THAT great. I expected it to be like, the best book ever, the way you people have been raving about it, and the way the book shops have been best-seller-ing it.
  • A whole bunch of stuff for the Argy's (more than $100 worth!), because they are such nice people, and also cos they got me a pretty bracelet from Goldmark when they came to M'sia.
We went driving around canberra few nights ago...I had a look at A.N.U (Australian National University), my parents' and Matt's dad's alumni...I think I wana go there too. It's so pretty and humongorous, and its THE venue for band performances in Canberra. hah.

Ah well, I wana go watch the Kurt Cobain DVD I bought in Canberra now *squeals* ;p

Posted by Closet Groupie :: 7:20 PM :: 0 Comments:

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Saturday, April 16, 2005



I'll be straight forward today. I just got back from the hospital; my uncle was coming home from work, and his van got crashed into by another car on the M4 highway, and they were both doing 80-90 kmph. Nothing really happened to the other car, but my uncle's van toppled or 6, 7 times...and he's not injured at all, save for a few scratches. How lucky can a guy get?

Anyway, the whole hospital trip was rather comical and light hearted, and not somber and serious as most hospital visits are. Let me explain. When we got to the ward, we found, instead of my uncle in a hospital gown groaning in agony with a broken neck and fuckillion stitches all over as I had imagined him to be, a "body" completely covered up from head to toe, ie a corpse. Oh no, uncle is dead? May I have the house? 5 seconds later, the damn thing MOVES, and to my dissapointment *ahem* relief, the body is in fact my uncle, very much alive and kicking, just shading his eyes from the blinding florecent lights. My aunt starts interrogating him, and i ask the obligatory "are you ok, are you hurt?" since I realy don't know what to say. He gets frustrated and looks like he wants to go back to looking like a mummy, when suddenly we hear a *POOOOOOOOOT*...the dude in the bed next to my uncle's gives a big huge fart, and i then nickname him Fartman. Me and my cousin wendy start going into hysterics, laughing our asses off while trying to keep up with the seriousness of the whole situation.

2 minutes later, Fartman farts again.

This time I can't hold it in, I laugh so loud everyone there gives me icy stares, as if I am the only one who finds it funny when people fart. Come on, how can you not laugh when a supposedly injured and warded dude gives a big fat fart all of a sudden? Anywho, while waiting for the x ray results n stuff, I took a walk around the ward where all the emergency patients go post-check up. I came across an entire rack of different types of syringes- 5ml, 10 ml, etc etc. I managed to nick one just for the sake of it...only to forget to bring it back with me when coming home. *kicks self*

I must say, Australian public hospitals are much better compared to M'sian ones. Like the one my uncle was at, Westmead Hospital, is way way better than, say, General Hospital in KL (if i'm not mistaken)? I remember my brother being admitted there when he was just a puny 4 months old due to some low blood-something count or other, and my god, I HATED that place. My mum even stayed overnight with my brother, and you know what they gave her to sleep on? One of those foldable chairs that look like beach chairs, except that they're made out of a metal frame and colourful plastic material, typical ciplak M'sian style.

Being at the hospital made me think of my whole Birthday-in-Sunway-Medical experience whereby the inside of my intestines were bleeding from an infection, and I lost about 5kg in 7 days (I wouldn't mind going through that again just to lose all that weight so fast). Not only that, I was suffering from dehydration and couldn't eat at all...and this was all on my birthday. How ironic can my life get? So yeah, I spent my fifteenth birthday in a hospital getting blood tests and drinking glass after glass of diluted rehydrational salts.

Here's to me being able to actually eat my birthday cake this year.

Posted by Closet Groupie :: 12:41 AM :: 3 Comments:

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Friday, April 15, 2005

Beyond Logic

*WARNING: Sappy post on love ahead. Do not read if you dislike such bloggings.*

How many frogs does a girl need to kiss, before she finds her prince? As in, is a happy, true, perfect relationship the reward after a certain number of heartbreaks and stupid little boys who make your heart flutter with excitement with every promise, only to deliver less than half? Or does love just drop in front of you out of nowhere, when you least expect it? Does cupid pick his targets blindfolded, at random?

Its only been less than 3 months since my last boyfriend, and already I'm beginning to feel the sting of being single. Call me a hopeless romantic, but whenever I embark on a relationship with a guy, its in the hopes of him being 'the one', the one that I would marry, the one that I would have kids with, the one I would get old with and be together with til death do us apart, the works. And everytime the end comes, I would cry my eyes out even though I am always the one to end things, wondering why I did so.

The funniest thing is that, love pops out of nowhere. When I thought about it, all of my past relationships whereby I was in love (or thought I was, anyway) weren't on the agenda, I had not liked that person before hand, nor had I known them previously as friends. They just came out of nowhere and made me the happiest girl in the world for those few months. And geez, lately it just seems like everyone is happily in love/lust with their other half. EVERYONE.

There is just no logic in love; its what some people say the beauty of it is. It is most often the case that they guy is madly in love with me and I hate him, or vice versa. Why, just WHY can't love be like everything else? What I want is always what I get. So why can't I get the boy I want? Is it so wrong to love, and at the same time, be loved back?

My god, I'm such a cliche I want to kick myself.

Posted by Closet Groupie :: 12:34 AM :: 2 Comments:

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Thursday, April 14, 2005

My little Love Affair(s) with music

It all started when I was 8. I still remember the first cd I ever bought...it was The Backstreet Boys' Backtstreet's Back, their second album. Hey! I was only 8 okay... At least I wasn't listening to kids songs or anything.

The Pop Years, 1997-2001.
The first few years of my "musical journey" were filled with countless annoying albeit popular songs played to the death on Hitz.fm, back then just known as Hitz Fm. Any song they played, I knew every lyric, but then again I don't think their playlist was that bad.

Alot of:
The Spice Girls
Backstreet Boys
Hanson
Britney Spears

I'm pleased to say that even at that tender age, I was selective with my music. I would refuse to listen to N SYNC and Christina, as they were the arch nemesises of BSB and Britney. LIME also influenced my taste alot, and looking back, I still don't understand why I read that silly excuse of a magazine.


The Pop-Rock, Hip Hop Years 2001-2002
When I was 13, I started to get really annoyed at the mainstream, and my main source of fresh music, Hitz.Fm, was starting to get stale. Plus, Johnboy, my favorite DJ, was no longer there and when he DID come back, he had lost his cool, oh-so-american accent and instead decided to adopt a british one, which made him sound like a Ross copycat. I thus decided to venture away from the mainstream, and found something else equally as crude: Hip Hop.

Listened to:
Ashanti
Ja Rule
anything Murder Inc
Linkin Park
Good Charlotte's
I had a crush on DJ Joseph Hahn who was, back then, very cute but now, sadly, just very fat.

Also M'sian bands like:
Pop Shuvit
Damn Dirty Apes


This was when I started my obsession with Alicia Keys, and I owe my piano playing to her music, which made me realise that the piano wasn't just a torture-intstrument I was forced to bang out classical music I didnt give a toss about, but I could also use it to play blues and really, anything I wanted. And that, ironically, was what sparked my interest in classical music, and thats when I understood that the piano wasn't just an piece of wood that occasionally made nice sounds if played with the right technique, but also a very good outlet for emotions and creativity.

I remember listening to alot of modern rock bands but can't seem to remember any of them now, except The Used which I still listen to. Proves how unworthy of listening to the rest were.

The Retro Years, 2002-2004
This was circa form 2 when I was 14; I got so sick of hip hop, and Avril Lavigne was EVERYWHERE, and it felt like I was the only one who saw right through that poser of a loser. I went out with a certain 20 year old stoner/drummer (Why, Kim, WHY??) who's band played Motley Crue and Guns n Roses, and *BHAM!* I was hooked, sucked in by the energy, trashiness and honesty (compared to avril)...besides, no one else was listening to it.

Alot of:
Warrent (my god, what was I thinking)
Bon Jovi
Metallica

other 80s crap
The Darkness realeased their first album that time and i was IN LOVE with them and was hunting all over Malaysia for their damn cd but couldnt find it, and ended up ordering it in. That was also when I started getting into weed.

Also, one night I went to Planet Hollywood with Sam for some battle of the bands thing, and I was picked from the crowd to play this game whereby who sang the opening line of led zeppelin's Black Dog (i had no idea it was led zeppelin at that time) the best won a converse bag...I narrowly but happily lost out to a guy wearing a Darkness T-Shirt (that was before everyone was listening to them, and I was the only 14 year old who didnt think they were gay faggots), but thought, "shit, what was that??" It was Led Zeppelin.

Started to listen to:
Nirvana
Oasis
Smasking Pumpkins
The White Stripes
The Vines
Pink Floyd

Incubus.

Ironically, watching American Idol introduced me to some good oldies like
Janis Joplin and Aretha Franklin...now THAT'S music.

The Anything Goes Years 2004-now
in 2004, I was watching an episode of Sync or Swim on Discovery Travel one day, and the host, Jamie Aditya (soooooo adorable!) was playing his guitar and singing, "It's all I ever had, Redemption Song." Thats Bob Marley for you. And thats when the whole Bob Marley/reggae thing started, and I'm still reggae-ing my butt off now ;p

Got REALLY into:
Led Zeppelin
Red Hot Chilli Peppers
Incubus

Nirvana, especially Kurt Cobain

And also new stuff like:
The Killers
The Scissor Sisters
The Yeah Yeah Yeahs


Somewhere in the middle of 2004, I got sick of sticking to just one type of music and realised that you should never be prejudiced against any genre, and never let another person, some magazine review or what your friends think influence what your tastes and opinions, because all kinds of music are beautiful in their own way...except for bad techno and silly dance songs. THAT I still can't stand. =)

Posted by Closet Groupie :: 12:32 PM :: 2 Comments:

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Wednesday, April 13, 2005

"I work below a brothel."

I bought a Janis Joplin cd today. Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyy!!!

I bought a Pink Floyd cd today. Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyy!!!

We bought a note book with the coolest cover ever. it says "Life is nothing without friendship".
Image hosted by Photobucket.com
Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayy!!

I got my ears pierced....
Image hosted by Photobucket.com
....again. yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayy!!!

I found out that the "massage parlour" upstairs is in fact a brothel. Yaa - er, say what?

You see, I went to the plaza with amie today, and we bumped into someone she knows and i've met once (can't remember his name), and when I told him that I work at 3 Junction Thai, his immediate reply was, "Thats right below the brothel!" Hah, and I thought it was a massage parlour. What stunned me was not that, but, get this-My boss apparently owns the brothel. *cue deng-deng-deng. aiyo. music played when shocked in movies lah.* It's like...omfg, my boss, reputable resteraunteur, loving husband and father of 3, owns a brothel?? Geez, now thats something you don't hear everyday. I still have a sneeking suspicion that amie's friend was playing with my mind. oh well.

I spent $120 bucks today, and didnt manage to get the Nirvana box set, NOR kurt cobain's journal which was out of stock. I want that sooo bad, you have no idea. Ended up placing an order at Dymocks (book shop) for it which is kinda silly, since i'll be going to canberra in a few days and could buy it there anyway. Silly me.

While we were walking, I got a blister on my left foot from the slippers I was wearing, and ended up buying all this bandage n stuff...and then the damn plasters kept coming off while I walked! Had to stop every 10 minutes to fix it, and ended up wrapping up my foot in this multi coloured bandage-plaster thingie. Don't you just HATE it when that happens, causing inconvenience to other people because of your stupid left foot? Well not exactly, but you catch my drift

I got my ears pierced at Wicked Ink which is also a tattoo place, and omfg my head HURTS...everytime I get my ears pierced, my head ends up hurting more than the ear, and it goes on for a day. but it was worthit...got my fix now. No more piercings for Kim in a while. =)

We also took pix in a photo booth old school style, sans silly sparkly decorations you get with sticker photos. Will post those pics later...they're the funnest things! we took em twice, just cos it was so fun. lol. I'm hungry now, good night.

My boss owns a brothel.....hahahaha.

Posted by Closet Groupie :: 11:37 PM :: 1 Comments:

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A light-hearted take on japanese poetry

Reading my cousin's blog, I found a Haiku, or japanese poem that was quite good indeed. However, I must digress by saying that Haiku can sometimes be taken too seriously. What are haiku?

Haiku are very short, very formally structured Japanese poems, each of three lines and each containing the same number of syllables.

Here is a light-hearted take on the form of poetry that I thought was damn hilarious, Haiku used to replace Microsoft error messages:

Three things are certain
Death, taxes and lost data
Guess which has occured?

Yesterday it worked
today it is not working.
Windows is like that.

A crash reduces
your expensive computer
to a simple stone.

First snow then silence.
This $1000 screen dies
so beautifully.

Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.

You step in the stream
but the water has moved on.
This page is not here.

The Tao that is seen
is not the true Tao until
you bring fresh toner.

Stay the patient course.
Of little worth is your ire.
The network is down.

Serious error.
All short-cuts have disappeared.
Screen.Mind. Both are blank.

and the winner..

A fil that big?
It must be very useful.
But now, it is gone.

hehe.

I take no credit
for this hilarious work
Found in a joke book.

Ah fuck,
I should stop
writing like this too.

crap.

Posted by Closet Groupie :: 10:35 AM :: 0 Comments:

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Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Kindness of strangers...

Its so funny how you meet strangers at places like bus stops, and the short, 15 minute conversation you have can stick in your mind and have some sort of impact on you, even though the person was only in your life for the whole of 15 minutes.

Fore example, today, I met this woman at the bus stop. She asked me what time the bus comes since she doesnt normally take the bus bla bla bla, and then we got to talking. She started telling me about her daughter, who had to be taken out of school because of severe depression and a bipolar disorder. That moment, I thought wow...people actually have to stop their normal daily routines like school to fight this thing. The woman was saying how her daughter really wants to go to school, hang out with friends, be normal, but can't because of her illness.

What so interested me to blog about this is that, here is a girl with an actual mental illness thats been diagnosed, and its not just hormones, it really is an actual ILLNESS that has to be cured. I started asking the woman (I never got her name) more and more about it...she told me that it was extremely difficult to cure. Once her daughter started to get better, she would relapse again because of her life itself.

And I just couldn't comprehend it...I wonder what its like to be in her shoes. Imagine wanting to live, just wanting to be NORMAL, but not being able to because of something like depression. Goddamit, I thought that I was depressed. In fact, how many of you think, or have thought that you're depressed, yet still be able to go around your daily activities, smile, grin and bear grin and bear? Perhaps in the end, we're just exagerrating our problems, paying no regard to people who really have them. Why do we do so?

I guess it pays to be open minded, to be friendly to strangers....I know alot of people who aren't, who couldnt be bothered to give 5 seconds of their time to vonluntarily meeting and getting to know someone new.

We got off at the same stop and went our seperate ways, but not before she gave me her address and said I could visit anytime and meet her daughter, perhaps even be her friend...am not sure if I will, but I'd like to do so, to know I'm making a change in someone else's life out of the pure goodwill of my heart and not for my own benefit.

Hmm, I just might.

Posted by Closet Groupie :: 11:12 PM :: 7 Comments:

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Monday, April 11, 2005

...So you'd rather be dead than anything less than perfect?

Is it true that, people trained to be number one "have the mentality of getting past the requirement of at least higher middle class otherwise they will assume they will not survive"?

You see, I've never ever had that drive to be top/number one/better than everyone else. I just don't understand that attitude, because I've never had it. Here's a good example. The first few years in primary school, I did really well, always getting top 3 in my class and pleasing teachers and parents alike. All was good. It wasn't because I wanted to be better than everyone else or anything, but I just happened to do well. And then, somewhere around primary 4, i started to slip...no wait, I didnt slip, my classmates started to get better grades. Thats when the whole I-fear-my-mother thing started I guess, when I started to worry about my grades not because I was afraid of others doing better, but because I was worried of what my teachers, parents, my mother in particular, would think.

But thats not the point...point is, I really didnt get my teachers/parents/classmates' attitude, all they wanted was number one number one number one. Why the hell was it so important to be number one in something you don't even care about (I hated primary school)? And although it didnt bother me, it puzzled me, when my classmates who had beaten me academically smirked with satisfaction and wondered why I didn't give a shit.

And shit, only after 16 years of my life, does someone tell me why. Apparently, people struggle to be number one because they think that mediocrocity means failure. Geez, don't they know that being number 1 in everything isn't gona bring you anywhere in the end?

I guess that, somehow, they didn't manage to drill into my head the must-be-the-best, or kiasu attitude. And you know what? I'm glad they didn't. Cos I dont wana waste my life working for something I don't give 2 fcuks about, thank you very much.

* Be sure to read Frus's blog for his view on the topic. Thanks Frus, for telling me. I credit you, times a million for giving me this very important piece of information that I somehow missed out on. =D

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Saturday, April 09, 2005



Listening to What'd I Say by Ray Charles, and it sounds JUST like B.B.King/T-Bone Walker/Muddy Banks' Shake it Baby. I swear, one of em stole it from the other. Yeah I don't know what I'm talking about either. =)

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Milo Ventimiglia, Jesse on Gilmore Girls. He is so fcuking hot...omfg!!! *Kim melts*

Last night, I was talkin to Choon How aka Frusciante about religion until what, 3 am? it was so...gratifying to talk to someone who has practically the exact same views as me on the topic. if you've read some of my old blog posts (under the addie www.kimizzdotz.blogspot.com), you would know I'm not a very...er...pro christianity-person. Its fine with me if you're a devout christian, as long as you don't try to get me into it as well. It irks me when people try to convert others to their own religion, especially by condemning the religions of others, its low and unnecessary, and I've been the 'victim' in many such experiences, which is why i get so turned off by fanatics. Not only that, its as if they're trying to recruit more and more people into their cult so as to take over the world one day. hmm. What do you think?

On a lighter note, I'm working 5, not 4 nights a week, which brings my pay up to AUD$250 this week. ka-ching! eew, i just thought of that ka ching song by shania twain...its a HORRID song, bringing shame to the name of pop music. how dare it! blah. Teachers from school have been coming to the restaraunt...yesterday Mr. Ryan came with a bunch of gym people (i didn't recognise him at first, silly me), and today Ms. Dippel came. Also, *ahem ahem* Ardie wants a job, so I begged, sorry-asked, i ASKED the boss if he could work there as well. =P

You see? my master plans get better and better with each passing guy. =)


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I've been giving tattoos to people in school, i must've done about 20-25 on friday, this is the one i gave amie. the first character says 'ai' or love, and the second one says 'ping' or peace. Amie's msn avatar is of this, except she put it upside down. Stupid ignorant aussies. *joking* =P

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Thursday, April 07, 2005



ge·og·ra·phy (j-gr-f)
n. pl. ge·og·ra·phies
  1. The study of the earth and its features and of the distribution of life on the earth, including human life and the effects of human activity.
You know what? Geography is GAY.

It's what cost me my wished-for 5 As in the pmr.

It's what I was sent to tuition for the last few years, because I didn't understand nuts about it. I still don't.

Yeah, geography is GAY.

Its a gay, stupid, retarded, unnecessary subject THAT I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO BE DOING. I've spent the whole night doing this stupid research assignment that doesnt make sense at all. They want me to draw terrains, do surveys, draw diagrams to show the difference between terrains, to "identify ecological aspects of area chosen and surrounding areas".

Tell me, how on earth is all this gona help me in real life? When I'm having dinner time chatter with a bunch of boring old geographers? I can just imagine it:"Oh yes Hegbert, how do you think the spatial dimensions of glenmore park differ to those in other regions? What do you think of the biodiversity and how is it effecting the people residing in this area?" argh. Who names their kids Hegbert, anyway?

*sigh*

here's a pic of the terrain i drew:

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you see...its night time, so the moon and stars are shining. Yeah, you're prolly thinking this doesn't look like terrain at all but hey, if you don't know what you're doing, at least make it look pretty. =)

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Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Oo La La

Some pics from DA I love:


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You see, I wana take pics like these, not my silly overdramatic by-the-window nonsense. I will get there one day. I will I will I will. And how fcuking hot is the guy in the third pic? Come on ladies, I know you're drooling. ;p

I talked to Ardie today, *crowd goes wild*. It was funny, I went "fuck church", and he goes, "fuck buddha".

*silence, crickets chirping, no one laughing*.

Shut up. it was funny at the time.

Someone left this as a comment for one of my pic Don't wana wake up alone on Deviantart....I have no idea where its from, but I thought its so fcuking cool:

Sleepy head angel
beautiful insomniac
will not rest alone.

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Tuesday, April 05, 2005

work blows.

omfg, work SUCKED today. it was so bad, it didnt just suck, it sucked, blew, spat, and everything in between. I cannot begin to describe how bad it was.

Well first of all, its THAT time of the month, meaning I'm very prone to violent moodswings.

Then, there's the fact that the other waitress and the only one i actually liked, Kat, has left for Melbourne, and now there's no one to cover for me when I screw up. Not only that, but she also "borrowed" my robbie williams Swing When Your Winning cd, and apparently 'forgot' to give it back. ARGH...thats like, one of the best swing cds I've ever bought. no joke.

Oh yes, and how could I not mention how when I was carrying out a plate of sizzling beef, the fucking thing sizzled so so so much, and went straight for my eye! Come on, if it gets my arms, I don't mind. Even my face is ok. but my EYE?? and it was so well, ironic, because the whole restaraunt was watching and were asking if I were ok, and of course I had to grin and bare. But the moment I turned around, I cried my eyes out, and did this smile-cry-smile-cry thing all night.

Also, I made about a gazillion mistakes when taking orders, and kept forgetting to bring ppl their drinks...there were so many today! I swear to god, they prolly all had a meeting and decided to gang up on me just cos I'm pms-ing and the fact that my boss was watching me like a hawk today.

A customer said something that made me laugh, as I was taking his order he said, "oh gosh, you have beautiful english!" like I was the queen or something. haha...geez, I'm just taking orders for gods sake, not giving a 5 hour speech.

tra la la...I can't wait for the holidays.

"Your mama's so fat, when she went scuba diving, Australia dissapeared!"

I came up with that. I'm a GENIUS =P Gnite.

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Monday, April 04, 2005

The kind of morning that lasts all afternoon

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I didn't go to school today...I wish I could say that its because I've been struck by a mysterious illness that has rendered me immobile and unverbose, but no, its because I havent done my assignments and am too much of a perfectionist to go to school empty handed.

So I spent my day taking pix (this one's called The Widow, for some reason) and reading the Red Hot Chilli Peppers bio given to me by dear sweet akmal, which I don't understand half of, what with the oh-so confusingly long sentences and words only used by people who want to look smart.

I just remembered something we were talking about in school few weeks ago...How ironic would it be if The Used and Brand New toured together? Imagine the trouble people would have buying merchandise, especially if the merchandise people are really dumb:

"Can I have a Brand New jumper, and a Used one as well?"
"I don't think we have used stuff...they're all new."
"Yeah I know, but I want a BRAND NEW jumper, and a USED one."
"Like I said, we don't have used items...they're all brand new!"
*fight ensues*

LOL. I know...How lame.

What have you been listening to these days? Here's part of my playlist:

  • Gymnopedie no.1-Erik Satie (piano song, im in love with this)
  • Wish You Were Here-Pink Floyd
  • I Believe in You-Kylie (hey...i love kylie k.)
  • Wasting My Time-Boomkat
  • Don't Fear the Reaper-Blue Oyster Cult
  • London Calling-The Clash
  • I wana hold your hand-The Beatles
  • Day Tripper-The Beatles
  • A Day in the Life-The Beatles
  • a whole bunch of beatles songs (yeah, beatles freak)
  • The Blower's Daughter-Damien Rice(this is a VERY good song, go get it if u can)
  • RESPECT-Aretha Franklin
  • Hope-Shaggy
  • Amber-311
  • i caught fire-the used
  • the taste of ink-the used
  • The next episode-Snoop Dogg and Dr Dre (I know I say i hate hip hop but snoop dogg is an exception)
  • Heaven-Los Lonely Boys
  • Kashmir-Led Zeppelin
  • Black Dog-Led Zeppelin
There are about 340 songs on my playlist, and I'm so sick of all of em except the ones I've listed. Any good new stuff you've been listening to? lemme know...I'm open to anything. But please, no techno/dance/silly pop. Some good african drum beats would be nice. =)

I need a change.

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Sunday, April 03, 2005

I'm coming home to you.

Listening to: Fields of Gold-Eva Cassidy

Sunday morning, my stomache is making very audible noises indicating hunger but I just can't get my ass off this seat and go eat.

My mummy called this morning, and all of a sudden I was struck by a pang of home-sickness...I wana go home!!! Because I miss the food so much. haha. Seriously...I miss having a mamak, a starbucks, a coffee bean, and various restaraunts just a 5 minute walk away from my house. And I miss everything being so cheap.

So you're prolly wondering, wtf is she doing in Aus? Yeah, I'm wondering that too. Oh wait...cos if I stayed in m'sia, I would get so sick of everything I would end up doing stupid idiotic things like cutting myself and shooting paperbullets at my neighbours for the sheer entertainment of seeing them jump and scowl. I know...I can be so immature. I guess I'm a bit jumpy, I can't stay put in one place for too long, so this...this flying back and forth between countries is working for me, I guess. Cos there's always "the next flight" to look forward to, if you know what I mean.

I just found out that the mid year hols are from the 4th of July to the 15th...only what, 11, 12 days? haha. I'm such an idiot. I wana spend a thousand bucks on a plane ticket that goes for less than two weeks. But really, I don't give a fuck. I mean, I can make the money right? As long as I can afford it, then why not?

So yeah....I've been hunting around for airfares on the internet because thats the only other way I know how besides going all the way to the travel agent. I've found one MAS ticket that leaves on the 4th of July and comes back on the 15th, just nice...and its $774 before tax..is that cheap? yeah, i think it is. I WANA FLY VIRGIN! heh, I have this weird obsession with richard branson and all things virgin. don't ask.

I guess I'll book the MAS one....but if anyone knows any other way to get cheap tickets, please let me know?

I'm coming home in July. Only 3 more months, yay!

Posted by Closet Groupie :: 10:59 AM :: 4 Comments:

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Friday, April 01, 2005

MALAYSIANS, READ THIS.

Malaysians, I know this is very long, but please, please read this. If you are Malaysian and do not understand, you should be embarassed.

Friendster bulletin post from a certain islam extremist melayu:

Kes macam ni bukan kes baru. Mmg betul cakap Cina tu! daging ayam dan lembu x ckp lemak untuk membentuk apa-apa shape. Jika sebrg proses tidak menggunakan lemak babi, ia senang pecah. Berdsa]rkan pengalaman saya dalam industri memproses makanan, boleh dikatakan semua product dari oversea yg bertanda halal sebenarnya tidak halal. Bagi mereka haram itu pork iaitu daging babi manakala pork product yg lain saperti lard(minyak babi),pork fat(lemak babi), ham (ini asal nama hamburger) dan bacon (hirisan nipis daging babi yg biasa serve during breakfast), pork instestine(perut babi) dll tidak apa bagi Muslim. Saya pernah bekerja di
Shangri-la Hotel KL, di situ terdapat satu BUTCHER Dept....1. Semua jenis sausage menggunakan pork casing. Pork casing adalah saluran usus yg digunakan sebagai kulit
sausage. Semua ingredients untuk sausage diblend bersama pork fat untuk membuat sausage itu firm dan tak mudah break. Jadi kalau sausage itu Chicken or beef still contain
pork. 2. Pork fat juga digunakan dalam proses membuat turkey roll,chicken roll, meatloft, pastrami dan salami. Benda ni semua boleh didapati di supermarket dan digunakan secara
meluas sebagai toping PIZZA 3. Bagi sesiapa yg suka makan buffet.. cold cuts yg disusun lawa-lawa pada buffet table seperti Terrine dan Pate pun ada lemak babi. Menyentuh sedikit aktiviti kaum Cina , saya ada satu kisah yang menarik untuk diceritakan . Salah seorang kawan telah menceritakan kepada saya ini,Bapanya adalah seorang pekerja TNB bahagian pembaik pulih bekalan elektrik.Pada satu hari bapanya bertugas membetulkan bekalan elektirk di
kawasan Jenjarum Banting. Semasa pekerja- pekerja lain sedang melakukan kerja-kerja pembaikan pulih bekalan beliau telah merayau-rayau dikawasan sekitar. Setiap pekerja
pembaiki pulih bekalan TNB mempunyai kebenaran memasuki kawasan yang melibatkan penggunaan elektrik, jadi secara tidak sengaja beliau telah memasuki sebuah kilang memproses makanan, dilihatnya daging-daging ayamberlongok-longok. Kemudian daging-daging babi berlongok-longok disebelahan. Rupa-rupanya kilang tersebut membuat burger dan daging- daging ayam dan babi tersebut dicampur dan di gaul bersama kemudian dijadikan burger.Beliau telah bertanya kepada tokeh tersebut mengapa dicampurkan daging babi dengan daging ayam! Tokeh tersebut berkata kalau tak campur burger yang hendak dibuat susah untuk melekat dan
dibentuk. Dengan mencampurkan daging ayam dan babi burger mudah dibentuk. Katanya lagi, burger ini tidak dijual terus kepada orang Melayu. Tapi jika mana-mana supplier yang tak cukup stok akan ambil burger daripada kilang tersebut. Lu ingat itu supplier cukup ka untuk supply satu Malaysia (Tak tahu supplier mana yang ambil dari dia). Tokeh tersebut siap kata "SIAPA KATA MELAYU TAK MAKAN BABI", menyirap darah bapanya. Balik tu dia buat aduan di JAIS. Bila JAIS buat serbuan tak ada apa-apa yang jumpa,kilang tersebut pun tak ade. Mungkin dah pindah bila menyedari ada orang melayu dah tahu aktiviti beliau. P/S Siapa yang suka makan burger tu berhati-hatilah mungkin ada yang bercampur dengan daging babi. Patut lah bila kes JE timbul rupanya berjuta-juta babi ada kat Malaysia. Purata satu hari babi dikeluarkan dari ladang ternakan beratus ribu.Yang peliknya takan beratus ribu babi ini dilantak oleh orang Cina saja. Mungkin sebahagian darinya dibuat bahan makanan yang lain, lepas tu bagi orang Melayu makan. Yang peliknya lagi kebanyakan yang jual burger tu orang Melayu. forward ini kepada orang Melayu kita. *Malaysia should ban pork consuming. Same with alcohol. The Chinese (or in this case the Non-Moslems) community should learn to live like Malays since they came into Tanah Melayu in the first place. Plus pig consuming gives u bad complexion and is unhealthy. Do your research. I mean, look at those pigs anyway. They are
fat and dirty. Man, they eat their own sh*t. You know what people say.. You are what you eat.

Hahaha, lawaknyer, orang cina patut belajar hidup sperti orang melayu eh? first of all, orang cina yang hidup kat malaysia bkan orang cina dari China. I'm speaking for the Chinese race here.
We are not just Chinese, but MALAYSIAN CHINESE, and half of us have never been to China. We were born in Malaysia, grew up in Malaysia, eat malaysian food, wear malaysian clothes, watch malaysian tv, just like Malays and Indians. Tell me, in what way is this land more yours than it is ours? Ban pork and alcahol? So we should have less rights over what we consume just because our ancestors decided to move to Malaysia? Yes, we know that your religion states that pork and alcahol shouldnt be consumed, but that doesnt apply to people of other religions, does it? And we bloody well have the right to choose our own religion. And yes, its wrong to mix pork into other meat and not state so, but is banning pork the answer? I don't think so. It seems that the way this screwed up government and its supporters do things is that if there is a problem, BAN BAN BAN. Its not like other races are trying to make malays assimilate with them, so why should malays? Yalah, Malays were the original people of Tanah Melayu, but bloody hell WAKE UP, its not just tanah melayu anymore, but MALAYSIA, made up of malays, AND Chinese and Indians.

That having been said, what irks me about this person is not that she is a malay or whatever, but that she has the audacity to post it on friendster, a network of people of every race imaginable. I like her as a friend, but goddamit, she and her attitude are just too much. If you wana complain, go complain to your government or your other islamic friends, but please lah, not on friendster where everyone can read. If you expect people to understand you, you should understand them too.

I don't have anything against Malay people, I have malay friends, have dated malays...I have a thing against ISLAMIC EXTREMISTS STILL LIVING IN THE PAST. I just hate the way some of them are so up themselves in terms of social rights and things like government privliges. Other races, chinese especialy, work so hard to get into just local universities, they get better grades, work harder, but who gets in? MALAYS. Who think they deserve it. Who take it for granted. Tolonglah sedarkan diri, kerajaan nak tolong pun tak ambil kesempatan. And this is just one of the many things that are unfair. I'm not saying that its wrong that the government wants to help Malays, but its just so ridiculous how malays think they deserve it and don't have to work any harder.

Oh and Chinese people, don't think you're so righteous either. stop complaining. I'm sure if you're really that smart and deserving, there are other ways of getting what you want. And don't just hate every malay you see. Never judge a person for the colour of their skin, nor their religion nor their race. It's called P-R-E-J-U-D-I-S-M, and its a horrible thing thats abundant in both malays and non malays.

Racial harmony? I wish this country would stop pretending. Because its not gona work if everyone thinks they're right, and if no one wants to start seeing things from other races' point of view, and work together to solve their problems.

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