-About a Girl-

Tuesday, February 28, 2006

This week's been going so good, and its only Tuesday.

Yesterday, despite the fact that I totally fucked up my thumb when a volleyball landed on it, I realy couldn't give a shit. Why?


Damn straight motherfuckers! Kimberley Low Jean Hee made it on a sports team!

Oh oh, and I feel like such a big girl now. I got to play grown up uni student for all of 2 hours, tagged along with Steven for an industrial graphics lecture at the university of western sydney. Not only did I find it pretty interesting even though it was only an introductory one, but I also got such a great kick out of being somewhere I shouldn't. And industrial design is quite a cool course, I reckon I would do well in it. I have learnt that:-

hmmm, potential uni subject choice, perhaps?

And last but not least, we FINALLY learnt to develop the pix we took in photography!! I'm so proud of it, old school black and white and all.

Hehehe, kinky korner. I'm soooo proud of it, didn't do any editing or anything, and it was done the old fashioned, develop-your-film-in-a-darkroom-with-red-lights way. We'll be developing more tomorrow, and I'll put em up here.

Posted by Closet Groupie :: 5:46 PM :: 0 Comments:

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Saturday, February 25, 2006

Little yellow squares

The Driver's Knowledge Test is the test people have to sit for when applying for their Learner's license here in New South Wales, Australia. There are 45 questions involved, and while there is no time limit, you are only allowed to get so many wrong in certain sections and let me tell you, it ain't easy. But when you see all your friends (especially those dumber than you) going for the test and passing it, it gives you the determination to blindly ignore the fact that you've failed the test every single time you tried the practice one on the internet, and spend one third of your weekly wages on a test you're not too sure you'll pass.

Last Thursday, Steven took me all the way to the RTA after school, through the pouring rain, only to be told I couldn't take the test cos I didnt have some stupid bank statement.

This Wednesday, tried again, my bank statement in hand, with Steven chaperoning once more, and they let me sit for the test. It was bloody 33 AUD!!! But I thought, hey, I'm here, I'm determined, I shall sit for the damn test, even if it means I'll go broke for the rest of the week. Well, I sat for it, and...I failed. Yep, I got Dux of the school, yet I couldn't even pass a test most high school droppouts ace. Good on ya, smartie.

But nevermind. One little failure wasn't gona get in my way. After all, I'm Kim, and I'm blessed (perhaps cursed) with the belief (perhaps illusion) that I can do anything, have anything I set my mind to. And so, once again, I went to the RTA after school (taxi this time, too embarassed to ask for steven's help, and I think he was getting fed up too), sat for the test, and........I passed! I got my license! I no longer have to freak out while driving around the supermarket at nights, practicing reverse parking everytime I see another car!!

Man, that feeling, that rush when I passed the damn test and was given the yellow square plates for the car...I felt LIBERATED, I just wanted to jump around and scream for joy and hug everyone around me, if it weren't for the fact that I had gone there alone and would've look pretty darn idiotic had I physically expressed said feelings of joy and liberation.

Heck, I was so happy I didn't mind the fact that my photo on my license turned out shitty, that my signature was lopsided, that I didn't have enough money for a taxi back to High Street for work. I walked out, excitement radiating like a nuclear wave, and happily started the 40 minute hike to work; I hadn't felt that rush in a long, long time after 3 months of feeling so numb...It was awesome. =)

Posted by Closet Groupie :: 12:20 PM :: 3 Comments:

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Tuesday, February 21, 2006

When Elitism becomes a trend

Argh. What is wrong with the youth of today?

Lately, I've noticed more and more young people, especially girls my age, who've started following this awful trend of complaining about being disillusioned with how horrible/bland/tasteless todays music is, people my age who kick and scream and yearn for the good ol days, comparing todays' music to the great bands of yesteryear, a time when they were in fact not even born yet.

I say to the elitist tryhards: stop whining, and start listening. There's just as much great music today as there was 30 years ago, you people are just not listening hard enough. Arcade Fire. The Shins. Bloc Party. Mars Volta. White Stripes. The white fucking stripes, goddamit, are fucking GOLD. Do you know how respected they will be in 20 years? For fucks' sake, commercial radio counts for nuts; thats where all the crap you're complaining about comes from. Try a little harder. Listen to alternative stations. Read magazines like Rolling Stone and Q. Poke around cd shops. Listen to the stuff played by DJs like Twilight Action Girl. Read blogs. Goddamit, you think they played great bands like the Clash or Led Zeppelin all over the radio and shoved it in everyone's faces? Ok well, perhaps they did, but thats not my point. My point is, there's alot of great stuff out there thats not necessarily right in front of you.

I mean, sure, today's music doesn't sound the same, but then again thats what music is: a constantly evolving medium that moves with the times. Just because its new and fresh, doesn't mean its not credible. In fact, its all the more exciting and delightful when you discover a new band that plays awesome music that no one's ever heard of, because, THEN, then you know its a bona fide band that you can proudly say you like, its presented to you up on a pedestal, not just because its cool to like them, not just because the cool musicians like em.

All I'm saying is, give today's music a shot. Hunt around. You'll be amazed with what you find. If you couldn't be bothered to give it a try, well, your loss. You're probably listening to what you listen to for all the wrong reasons anyway.

Posted by Closet Groupie :: 5:35 PM :: 6 Comments:

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Friday, February 17, 2006

Aloha people, just a quick update this time. I'm at my old haunt, the library...yep, the internet at home has decided to go kaput on me once again, and this time, its even decided to take my laptop along with it. So yeah, no internet, no laptop = no photos and music for kim = kim is not happy. mmhmm.

What more, I haven't gotten my L's!! Yet. But this time, its not due to lack of trying on my part... Steven was nice enough to take me all the way to the RTA, even though the rain was pouring down like crazy. The damn road people wouldn't take my bus pass as proof of address (even though my name and address were CLEARLY printed on it), and said I needed a bank statement or something. Steven said thought it was bloody ridiculous as well, and as a result of my distress, we (rather audibly) concluded that they were being racist because they think all asians are bad drivers. Damn road people...I could've been driving by now. ish ish.

School's been great, apart from the whole no uniform thing; I can't find enough black/white/green/grey clothes, since mine are mostly purple/brown/red/jeans. I've also gotten in trouble 3 times this week...yeah, I'm turning into a baaaad ass now. *sniggers* No, really, everyone else is just super obedient/hardworking, compared to me. And also the fact that I don't do homework contributes too I guess.

The best thing about its been photography and french classes. French is so damn fun since I learnt most of it in ICLS 2 years ago...not only am I kicking arse, I'm whacking and punching the shit out of it too. I'm also kicking arse in math, but thats another story, since I hate the subject anyway.

In photography today, we took our first 12 photos on black and white film...I never thought taking photos with an old school SLR camera would be so complicated; you gota make sure the exposure, the arpeture, the shutter speed, the ISO speed, the light meter, the bla bla bla, everything's gota be right, or you photo comes up shitty.

How was your valentine's day? Mine was nice, I got a flower, and a hand-made card came in the mail via express post from Leon, along with a little ceramic frog. All together now: Aaaaaaaaaaw. I had to work that night but it was worthit; the restaraunt looked soooo different with the decorations and split tables, and seeing all those couples together so in love was oh so beautiful, it brought a tear to my eye and made me believe in everlasting love all over again.


Honestly? Valentine's night was the craziest night at the restaruant, period. There were sooooo many people, it took half an hour just for the entrees to come out, and there were so many orders that we had to sticky tape them to the wall. The restaraunt made alot of money that night. ALOT. But it was worthit; I talked to this realy cool couple, and the guy (who was so damn hot but oh so taken) gave me a bottle of beer for being such a cool ass waitress. Heeehehehhe. =D

Speaking of which, I'm off to work, was gona bitch about this incident in the shops with this little fat boy, his psycho mum, and a security guard, but I'll save that for another day.

Oh and, frus, in case you're reading this...*teases* I got a kaiser chiefs baaadge =)

Posted by Closet Groupie :: 12:50 PM :: 0 Comments:

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Saturday, February 11, 2006

Baby, can I drive your car?

I'm putting this up on my blog, in public, so that this time, I'm gona stop procrastinating and do it for sure. And people, I'm gona need all your encouragement and support to do this, or I'll laze out and put it off again.

Drivers around Penrith, be forewarned. Your streets will never be safe again.

Come this wednesday, I will get off my ass and get to the RTA (that, or steven will drag me there) and sit for my L license so that I can legally drive (so that I don't have to quake in fear everytime I see a police car), and I WILL PASS. And I will get a car by the end of the year, and then I'll be able to drive to school, and also be the lovely sweet lass that I am and fetch all my friends aroud. Also, I can drag Leon down (up?) to Melbourne to visit Frus, because silly me can't remember nuts about melbourne even tho I've apparently been there twice before.

Sigh, I'm trying out the practice test right now, and so far I've failed 3 times. fuckety fuck.

My motivation? Public transport, and all its inefficencies and nonsensical timetables. For example, the bus that I planned to take to the train station comes at 7.20 am, which isn't too bad a time. BUT, guess what? The train to school leaves just 1-2 minutes BEFORE my bus arrives at the station. So IF, say, I wana catch the train on time, I'd have to take the bus at the ungodly hour of 6.50 am, and thats just plain abnormal and ridiculous to get up so early. Only school loving, homework-doing geeky assfucks would do that.

Oh right, I AM in a school for school-loving, homework-doing geeky assfucks. Damn you, Westbus and Cityrail.

Steven's (Amie's ex, and no we're not going out or anything so don't get the wrong idea) been nice enough to wake up early and give me a lift to school a few times, but I feel bad.

So yes, Kimmy will have a car and drive legally by the end of the year, so please give her lots of encouragement and words of praise for her EXCELLENT driving. =)

Posted by Closet Groupie :: 8:05 AM :: 1 Comments:

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Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Ladies, do you like guys with big rear ends?

I know I don't. Its disgusting and unattractive. Curves are meant for the fairer sex, damnit!

Natasha's been pointing out this rather generously equipped guy in year 12, to quote her exactly, "Do you reckon its muscly or squishy? I reckon its soft. I just wana grab his butt and squeeze the damn thing!"

Yuckety yuck.

I am contemplating taking up tennis again; I used to play a hell lot since it was the only sport besides volleyball and bowling that I am half decent at. So yes, Kim shall try out for the school team in a few weeks time (not that I'm gona practice or anything beforehand, I'll just leave it to talent and luck =D), and she will indeed be accepted, and will become a great tennis star so she doesn't have to spend every damn day choosing between legal studies and music!


Reading back my old posts, I've realised how different I am now, compared to back then. Taken, my basic morals and principles, the way I think etc is still the same, but my approach towards life, the way I react to the things that happen around me, have somewhat dulled down; no longer do I put so much priority towards the things I should, ie friends, school, work, etc...instead, everything that happens, I expected. Nothing excites me anymore, nothing stirs me up anymore. My enthusiasm for life has packed its bag and gone on extended leave, and I don't know what its gona take to bring it back.

Nothing's new, nothing's shocking. I am numb.

Just a phase, or another step as this little girl grows up a little more?

Perhaps, all thats happened in the past year, all the emotional rollercoasters, the people I've met and been influenced and affected by, all thats happened...its worn me out. Even the way I write is different, the wit and creativity's gone, which was the reason I started blogging in the first place. I am jaded, oh yes.

Posted by Closet Groupie :: 5:36 PM :: 0 Comments:

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Saturday, February 04, 2006

If love is what love's meant to be...

Hello dear reader,

Have you ever heard the sound of 7 lovely wine glasses smashing into pieces, one by one? Its beautiful, I tell you. The guilt that comes after that, and the feeling of 80 restaraunt patrons staring at you for the next 2 minutes while you clean up the mess, and the dissapointment in your self after having gloated over the fact that you've never broken anything, is not so nice.

SEVEN glasses, damit. SEVEN. A customer told me it was actually considered good luck, and if that truly does signify what the guy said it would, well then, Good Luck, my door's open for you.

I was talking to a friend last night, and he said, "Damn, how could he have let you go?"

Yes, how could he? I loved that idiot. The first and only person I've loved with all I have, because of everything he is. Earlier, I was stupid enough to dig through my emails and earth out the emails sent between me and you know who. HIM laaaaaah.

Oh god, I hope I don't come out sounding like some depressed lovesick teenage girl crying over the stupid things, because this wasn't just anything. I know its silly, but I asked myself, were those six precious months just a dream? Was he just a fantasy I managed to get mixed up with the real world, after having convinced myself that I would never find someone who I could feel so complete with, that could lighten up the gloomiest day?

I have to ponder the hand fate had dealt me: The week before I met him, I was given the choice of working Tuesdays, or Sundays. Somehow I chose Tuesdays, even though Sundays would mean more customers, meaning more tips. He walked through the restaraunt door and into my life the following Tuesday. Had I chosen Sundays, we would have probably never crossed paths, and he would still be a stranger I'd not yet met. The following months saw me experience some of the most beautiful moments of my life ever, thanks to him. Everyone could see how happy he made me. I don't think I've ever felt so close to, so safe with another person.

I've never allowed myself to be. Don't see how I will again. Its incredibly hard for me to trust people, to allow myself to open up to them.

And just as suddenly as he had entered my life, he's gone now, and I'm back to zero again. I took what probably was the sole real gamble I've ever made with another person, and I lost. We've not talked, emailed, or anything, and as much as I've tried to get over it from one bad break up remedy to another...I'll put it bluntly: It still fucking hurts. I really don't see how I'm going to get over this without some mending up on his part.

Yes, its been two months, and I'm still mourning. Maybe because the closure's not there. You can't mend a broken heart with band-aid, it takes much more than that. So sue me for loving. If I could put my state of mind right now into a song, it would be Sinead O Connor's Nothing Compares. Cheesy, I know, but I'm being honest.

Really now, how do you choose to let go of something so beautiful, like what it had been?

Posted by Closet Groupie :: 11:45 PM :: 5 Comments:

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Friday, February 03, 2006

A radical Idea

I've been late to school 3 days in a row. Don't get me wrong, I love it, but the buses, THE MOTHERFUCKING BUSES, have to get to the train station a minute too late.

And today, I only rocked up to school at about 1o am, 1 and a half hours after school starts.

"ah, back to your old ways eh, kim?" said Prayas.

Indeed. I have other things and issues on my mind, you see.

Like today at work, this cool dude who comes to the restaraunt alot (and stares at me alot too, but i dont mind cos he's cool) got confused which bathroom was which, since the women's doesn't actually have a sign that signified it was for the fairer sex. He was complaining to me about it, and then it occured to me...

Why do we need to have seperate toilets for seperate genders anyway?

I'm gona admit that I've used men's toilets a handful of times when I've been busting to go and there was an endless queue at the ladies', and also cos I really dont give a shit if people think I'm weird for doing it (Its not like I'm gona sprout a penis by peeing in the men's right?) and found it no different.

It should be like in Ally McBeal, where they share toilets and its fine, and even makes things more fun.

Anyway, I want to share my discovery of this very wonderful singer/songwriter, rachael brady, with you. Yeah, she's a WOMAN. This proves that WOMEN can be kickass songwriters, not just the cute doe eyed hippie guys.

If you like the likes of jack johnson, jason mraz, ben harper, etc etc, you will like her. She writes with thought. Thought, people, thought...thats what more so called musicians need these days.

"Jesus was a radical
buddha was a radical
Martin Luther King was REVOLUTIONARY"


Her song 'Sunday', a jazzy, soulful, bluesy, breezy number now adourns my myspace page...it describes my (regular) state of mind perfectly.

I should sleep.

Posted by Closet Groupie :: 10:45 PM :: 3 Comments:

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