-About a Girl-

Saturday, April 29, 2006

Mum

Today is Saturday. Yesterday was my dear mother's birthday, 45 going on 21. But thats not what I wana talk about right now.

I just got a haircut, and I'm in the library to write about this. Haircuts are extremely emotional experiences for me; 95% of the time I hate the result, and, most of the times, I cry. No joke. Anyone who's ever been for a haircut with me will know the heartache and sorrow I go through as I carefully examine the damage done. Why can't hairdressers just fucking cut your hair the way you tell them to?! When I get mad at people, I usually just take a deep breath and let it go, but no, not those damn hairdressers.

Anyway, this time around was no different. I chose to get it cut at this particular salon because 1. Nina and Donelle got their's cut their, and they liked it; and 2. It was $17, the cheapest price around.

I told them to just TRIM it, and make it just a bit layered and to make it look natural.

I told them I didn't want more that 2 inches off.

I told them that I just wanted my fringe cut a tiny bit, like 3 milimeteres and no more.

And I TOLD them that I was extremely nervous after the last 2 previous haircuts I got, I cried a bucket so please please don't mess this up.

But for some reason, hairdressers never listen to what you tell them to. Yep, those scissor wielding incompetents didn't listen. They made those really choppy layers I hate, and cut off like 3 inches of it. Why, WHY would anyone want choppy layers? Is it to any degree cool or attractive to have your hair looking like the local butcher just randomly hacked his hair through it?

Aaaaaargh.

I know, I know, I've been really whiny lately, for reasons I can't or more accurrately am not yet ready to blog about. Blaah. Thats how I feel right now. And its moments like these, when I can't help but miss my mum even though I shouldn't, because hey, this was my choice, I saw the negatives that were to come with it but did it anyway.

Today is Saturday. Yesterday was my dear mum's birthday, my mum who, in my eyes will forever be the same woman I saw when I was 7, the strong, kind, incredibly generous woman I admired and looked up to since I was a baby.

Mum, I love you.

Posted by Closet Groupie :: 1:51 PM :: 5 Comments:

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Wednesday, April 26, 2006



So its the second week of term break, and I'm happily wasting away in Orient Point near Nowra aka Land of the Inbreds, cos I'm visiting my grandparents. While the people here are quite strange looking and somewhat mentally needy, the scenery here is quite the opposite: completely and utterly beautiful...my grandparents' backyard is full of these rare pretty flowers, the spaces are wide open, the sky is clear, and what more, its a 2 minute walk from the sea. Great way to retire, no? I WOULD put up some pictures, but.....

I DIDN'T BRING THE DAMN CAMERA.

I say didn't, because I DID think about it, but decided, pah, its nowra, everyone's inbred and funny looking anyway, no point in bringing the camera. And now I kick myself repeatedly everytime I drive by something that would look awesome in a photo, which is pretty much every 10 seconds.

Oh well, you live and you learn.

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Being in a good school with new friends is an incredibly exciting thing, especially when you know for a fact that, even though a big lump of them are fluffy and pretentious, you'll (almost) always be sure to find good conversation and people you get along with.

ok, i'm being really loong winded but my point is, we've been planning what to do after we finally finish and graduate next year, and before hitting uni....we're gonna do the whole backpack around the world thing. FOR AN ENTIRE YEAR.

!!!!!!!!!

omg omg omg...how exciting is that?? we've even got it planned out where we wana go....We're gona spend more time in South America, Africa and Asia, and maybe just a lil time in Europe and US since thats where most people go. We're also gona go to all the island places on the Carribean, and also Samoa and Tonga and all that. *screams with excitement*

ahem. If you're wondering what happened to brazil...well, I've decided that I'm gona use the money to get a car instead.

Brazil can wait, finally not having to depend on public transport just can't.

ps. excuse the crappy posts. the holidays kinda screwed with my head.

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Monday, April 17, 2006

Random Thoughts

A million apologies to all three of my readers for not blogging this past week; I've tried, but my mind just wanders to other things all the time. So here's some random stuff off the top of my head for ya:

Recently, I've been trying to go vegetarian which, by the way, is incredibly hard for someone who ate almost nothing but meat the first 12 years of her life. So today when I went for a much delayed brunch-turned-coffee-turned-lunch with Sam (oh yes, I am oh so casualy mentioning that), I tried a Vegetarian Houlimi something-something-fancy-arse-name. Unfortunately though, the contents of the meal wasnt nearly as sophisticated as it sounded, consisting of only grilled cherry tomatoes, pita bread, green leafy vegetables, and......Vegetarian Cheese.

Can I get a WTF?

Now kiddies, I don't care what the vegans/greenies say about how horrible dairy products ie cheese and milk are...Vegetarian cheese is just plain wrong. It tastes like super salty crap, not unlike chewing on a salted rubber shoe sole. Not only that, but it is also completely devoid of the essence of cheese, and what makes cheese the great yummy fattening stuff that it is: the dairy milk. Its like eating curry without coconut milk, or even worse, vegetarian T-bone steak. Completely and utterly pointless. So I ended up slaving my way through the meal, and letting Sam eat the rest of the cheese. That freak.

Sidenote: Seeing someone you care a crazy amount about (who doesn't seem to want to care half as much) for the first time in months, and realising you can never be mad at them no matter what stupid way they've treated you, because you've given in to the fact that you have (and don't want) any power whatsoever over the person and the relationship, is not a very calming feeling. Your face will flush, and then you will feel sick to the stomache the remainder of the time, and when you try to keep your cool you just seem antisocial/distracted.

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Ever realised how the lyrics for rock-a-by baby are pretty evil, what with the baby falling off the tree in the end and all?


Rock a by baby, On the tree top


When the wind blows , the cradle will rock


When the bough breaks, The cradle will fall


And down will come baby, Cradle and all


How sneaky, hiding such a sinister story behind a sweet melodious lullaby. I bet THAT would make you think twice before singing this to babies again.


Maybe we should alert the censorship board.

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For once, I'm bloody thankful for all the workload from school. It gives me something big yet not so important to whine about, and keeps me distracted from my real problems.

Oooh, denial is such a great thing.


Posted by Closet Groupie :: 4:19 PM :: 4 Comments:

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Wednesday, April 12, 2006



Wtf wei.

I just washed the right side of my honey coloured contact lens down the sink.

!!!!

This holiday is off to a GREAT start.

Posted by Closet Groupie :: 7:16 AM :: 3 Comments:

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Tuesday, April 11, 2006

...And then I realised I'm not as smart as they told me.

Before I proceed, I shall make known that this is gona be one of those What Incredibly Blonde and Stupid Thing Did Kim Do This Time posts, and this one in particular, is a film photographer's absolute WORST nightmare.

As I was saying.

This morning, I was 10 minutes late for my Society & Culture exam and missed out on a question worth 6 marks, because I was craving a latte like hell and just had to go get one. I SWEAR I did NOT know it started at 8.20. It WAS, however, extreeeemmmeely satisfying to breeze in late, latte in hand and all, and pissing off the teachers with my blissful ignorance of the fact that I should have ben there ten minutes ago.

But nevermind. I don't give a shit, because its Year 11, and I don't have to do well for nuts.........

Then came the dumb part.

Because I am so cool and smart and hot and stuff, I was allowed to take home a professional cam from school to use over the 3 or so weeks of holidays I've got coming up. I spent the rest of the day, merrily taking bloody kick ass shots of everything from bees to cats to old ladies to Nina to shoes (especially taking advantage of the light in the library coming from the sunset), only to find out, AFTER I had so painstakenly taking the best photos of my life, being nice to old ladies and doing ebroidery with them (which took them 2 years btw, and they're nowhere near finished), did I realise I DID NOT LOAD THE FUCKING FILM IN THE CAMERA PROPERLY, AND NOT A SINGLE PHOTO WAS ACTUALLY TAKEN.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGHHH!!!!!!!

*bangs head against keyboard*

If I had a wall in front of me, I would've banged my head against it. Thankfully, the nice people at the photo shop I go to all the time are, by now, used to what a retard I can be, and fixed the film for me.

But still...

...no photos. And my heart just breaks a bit more everytime I think about it.

=(((((

Posted by Closet Groupie :: 9:00 PM :: 2 Comments:

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Monday, April 10, 2006



Like, oh my god. Oh my god oh my god!

GUESS WHAT.

....The world spins again!

*squeals*

Today right, I was like, walking through the plaza with Adi (she's cool because she reads Frankie magazine...I felt like I was the only person in the whole school, let alone this part of the country that reads it) and Emma and stuff, and we like went into that Dotti shop right, and I like, saw like, this scarf that like looked JUST like the scarf that I lost. For $15.95!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Okok...cut the bimbo talk already. But allow me to repeat, it looked JUST like it. AND, it was the LAST one left, just like the one I got from Portmans!

Did I buy it? Fuck yeah. The saleslady had to climb up to the display to get it and everything. The point is, I HAVE A COOL SCARF AGAIN, and I'm, errr, whole and complete again.

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Last week and this week, we've been having half yearly exams. As to why we're having half yearly exams in april is a whole other story altogher, and delving into it would be just boring and technical.

Now let me remind you, St Marys Senior is a selective school, and its pretty competitive and unlike my previous school, I'm not the only person who has brains. However, thankfully my subjects are rather bludgy, ie Visual Arts and Photography, and I'm pretty good at them, so I only had 4 exams as opposed to the 6-7 most people have, and they are....

  • English (Advanced) on Wednesday. It was SHIT. I'm not even being modest here, I did so badly I'll probably fail it. Note: I've never failed anything my life, or even come close to.
  • Mathematics (Advanced) on Thursday....This one was good, but could've been better. I went in, brimming with confidence after having done all the past papers and completing them in half the exam time...only to spend so much time on algebra fucking algebra (I am horrible at it) that I missed out on several trigonometry questions. and I LOVE trigonometry...I don't care if this qualifies me as a geek. Repeat after me: Trig is THE SHIT.
  • French beginners, and that was today. I love languages, full stop. After speaking 4 all my life and trying to learn bits of others along the way, I'm gonna blow some smoke up my own arse and say that I'm pretty good at picking em up.
  • Society and Culture tomorrow. Its the last one. AND the hardest, but the most intriguing. Its like this kick ass blend of psychology, sociology and pop culture.

And so I'm off to study now...its so good to have so much school shit to do, because that way, I don't have time to stress about anything else. And gosh I have so fucking much to stress about. Adieu.


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Saturday, April 01, 2006

Forever for it, is over for me.

They say that letting go of a lost love, no matter how hard and traumatic the loss, how deep and profound the love, is the most essential key to moving on with your life, and opening up new doors.

Today, I decided to let go. But before that, here's one last ode.

I'll never forget the day I first saw you. I saw you first, and the moment I laid eyes on you, I was speechless, and I would never be the same.

You were beautiful.

The chemistry between us, before we'd even touched, was electrifying; all I wanted was you...you're all I thought about, you're all I craved for. I just HAD to have you.

And the first time we touched, it was.... heaven. Beyond heaven. From that moment, I knew you were IT. The One. That special, one and only godsent soulmate that no other could take the place of. Everywhere I went, you were there with me. We stuck together like glue, and it was obvious from the jealous glances from everyone who saw us, that we were special. Looking back, I don't know how I would've made it without you. You kept me warm. You gave me strength. I only had to look at you to remember that I had something to live for, that would never let me down.

But that dreadful day, fate tore us apart. I gambled my chances, did everything I could to get you back, but alas, it was not meant to be. Destiny had made its decision, and nothing I did, no matter how much I mourned, how many tears I cried, I knew deep down, that I could never get you back.

Defeated, I gave in and accepted that what was to be, was to be. But nothing can ever replace the place you held in my heart; you were The One, and nothing could even begin to fill the emptiness of the gaping hole you've left in my life...things will never be the same. And so, a picture of rememberance, of our happier times together.


Oh how I will miss you, my one and only stripey black and white scarf from Portmans, $24.95 RRP. You will be in my heart, forever.

Geez...what did you think I was talking about?!

=DDDDDD

Posted by Closet Groupie :: 10:03 PM :: 4 Comments:

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