-About a Girl-

Wednesday, September 27, 2006



He's so cute, he's so cute...

aah, Kim is puppy-love struck. =)))

Tomorrow is the last day of the term, and after the 2 week break starting monday, its year 12 for us and then up next is uni, or brazil, or aid work, whatever...pretty unbelievable shit.

BUT, it also means the current year 12s are leaving tomorrow...NICOLE!!! argh.

Thing is, its only been in the past few weeks that I've gotten to know some really amazing people from year 12 I never even knew existed, and now they're leaving me with my grade. My grade's ok I guess...I guess.

but yes, I'm relieved, the holidays are finally here and I can catch up on reading and photography. tralala.

Posted by Closet Groupie :: 9:21 PM :: 1 Comments:

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Monday, September 25, 2006

prraatata

Recap of the past week:

Saturday - fever.

Sunday - fever and sorethroat.

Monday - fever, sorethroat, phlegm, sniffles, stayed home and rested.

Tuesday - it got worse. Still no school.

Wednesday - bloody phlegm. uh oh, ok, see the doc. doc says take meds and all will be good.

Thursday, Friday, Saturday - still the same, antibiotics are shit. I start eating insane amounts of fruit and it seems to work.

A week away from school is like isolating yourself from the rest of the world for a week. That, and a million other personal things I'm going through at the moment makes it a recipe for tremendous imbalance and losing a sense of yourself and your place amongst your friends, school, home.

In other words, right here, right now in this moment, I am completely unsure of anything in my life. I feel like I've been knocked unconscious, had my sould moved into this body, and woke up to find that nothing fits and nothing makes sense.

And today, today I couldn't have disappointed myself more. My perfectionism, I've discovered, is lethal to my self assurance and sense of being.

My english speech was shit.

My captaincy one was, to be gentle, five levels worse than shit, the last nail in the coffin thats making me want to just give up and say fuck you to the rest of the world. It was that bad.

I started off awesome, but lost it halfway through. I think no matter what the prize at stake is, even if it is something as big a deal as being school captain, when your heart's not into it, when you're not driven by that insane passion to get it no matter what, there is just no way you can take it as seriously as someone else who's been vying for it for yonks more than you.

That, added to the fact that I'm just no good with talking about myself to a whole bunch of students, trying to convince them in 3 minutes as to why they should vote me as their captain, without them talking back or asking me questions...seriously, not my thing.

To me its always a competition that I have to win, and today I knew that someone else would get it and not me, so basically I just lost it halfway through. Gave up. Demotivated. Couldn't give a fuck...let the perky girls have it, they know how to win hearts. And the second I realised this, my confidence and mental preparation just flew away too, making myself look like a total idiot in front of those that counted. And my teachers, oh god! My french and society & culture teachers, my favorite teachers out of all, were right at the back watching, hoping for me to shine through and getting the worst. Knowing you've let down the people you look up to so much and placed so much faith in you could very well be worse than disappointing yourself. My only saving grace is that I'm not taking this too seriously; I'm over it and as I'd said before, I'd rather be taking care of the Amnesty group.

But still.

And so this malancholy numbness is back, denying the fact that I've let myself down in the stupidest way ever when I could have done so much better.

Yep.

Posted by Closet Groupie :: 2:15 PM :: 3 Comments:

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Monday, September 18, 2006

And the winner is....

Guess what....

I'M RUNNING FOR SCHOOL CAPTAIN.

Hahahahahhhahaaha.

Me. Kimberley Low. The prefect-hating, authority detesting, nonconformistic anti-stereotype, or so they say. Thing is, I fucking hate selling myself, especially to win hearts. Its all so....SUPERFICIAL. I'm more of a "you've seen what I do, the way I go about things, and if you think I'll be a good leader then pick me, I don't want to have to verbally convince you" type.

I'm filling in my nomination form right now, and I have to answer this question "What is your vision for the position of school captain of 2007?"..........oh gawd.

I soooo wana answer, "What is your opinion of stupid corny questions that every single person who fills in the answer to will lie, or at the very least, exagerrate about?"

Posted by Closet Groupie :: 10:18 PM :: 2 Comments:

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Saturday, September 09, 2006

Truisms

  • I just love how I type in "Eric Johnson Cliffs of Dover" in the limewire search bar, and they give me results like "sisters fucking in backyard pool". Oh yeah.

  • I want to run for school captain, but I know I won't get it. I want to be captain not for the sake of it, but because I know I can lead this school well, that I will listen to people, that I can make a difference. The sad truth is that captain elections are more or less popularity contests, and lord knows how much I hate selling myself for affection.

  • To spend summer in Malaysia playing pool, eating endless series of roti canais, sipping on teh o ais limau, complaining about the food at Asia Cafe but fucking loving it anyway, dancing and eargasm-ing at the Loft (its the little things you miss the most)....or to stay here in Oz and paint, get my life in order, and be serious about my future for once?

  • A month of vegetarianism with no relapses; I'm so proud of myself. The hard part is going to work every weekend and seeing all that glorious food and for a second forgetting why I made the choice anyway, but then my senses come back and each time I make the right choice, my conscience grows clearer. There is no greater feeling than knowing you've resisted temptation for a greater cause.

  • Ben Harper is like no other.

  • I like the fact that there is only one person in this whole entire planet thats allowed to call me "baby" in the most sincere and genuine way, and we're not even in a relationship.

  • Read of the month: The Female Eunuch by Germaine Greer.

  • The only thing I've ever been definitely 100% sure of in my life is that I want to take a career path in human rights. In class we were discussing poverty and hunger in unegalitarian societies and Kevin, my society and culture teacher whom I admire so much said something thats been playing over and over in my mind ever since: "There is no reason why we can't feed every single person on the planet". Brazil and the car can wait, after year 12 I'm doing a 5 weeks to 3 months thing with youth challenge. Either that, or the UN thingie my mum's signing me up for. No no, I've definitely made up my mind this time. =)

  • Best advice I've been given all year, from Gerard my french teacher: "Stay away from people who KNOW they're right." Understood? A very Buddhist philosophy, oui, and oh-so-true.

  • On friday in Society and Culture, we watched a non-dialogue documentary called "Baraka", click on the link and look at how many places all over the world they filmed in. Fucking amazing, the way it was shot, and although its quite alot to digest (quite a few scenes choked me up), its a definite must-see.

  • I wish I had a little player on my blog playing Rodrigo y Gabriela, so you could see for yourself how fucking awesome they are. My cd has been winning me cool points from the oldie teachers in school... They hear it and applaud me, calling me things like "intellectual, "classy", "sophisticated".

  • FUCK! I have to catch the SIX AM bus to school on Tuesday. TO SIT FOR A MATH TEST.

  • (you see, i hate math so much that I broke down and cried 4 times studying it during the weeks prior to the finals)

  • So, Maltese guys, huh?

  • And here's a biiiig I LOVE YOU to Steven, Nicole, Tash, and Narm...spread the love, spread the legs. Oh yeah.

Posted by Closet Groupie :: 9:38 PM :: 1 Comments:

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Wednesday, September 06, 2006



Dear blog,

I'm so sorry for neglecting you; life is busy and thoughts abundant, but alas time is a constraint. I'm currently in the process of finishing my last artwork for school for this year, and its going rather unswimmingly. No, I don't want to talk about it.

ok, I will talk about it. I've been kicking myself for being such a perfectionist; you have no idea how much thought I put into my artwork. Even my dear art teacher Sharon, someone I'd define as a TRUE hippie, is constantly asking if I'm ok, because apparently I'm looking stressed and tired.

Fact is, everything is just getting so old now. There are over 900 people in school, and yet everyone just seems the same. Finding a life out side of school is not much of an option, seeing as to how all my time goes into school.

So enough of me whining, next post I will put up some photos from Old School Day and also the Spanish Festival, of which I got to enjoy (and indulge in yummy spanish cuisine at) with dear el Grecho.

Posted by Closet Groupie :: 6:05 PM :: 1 Comments:

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